IT MUST BE TRUE…

I read it in the tabloids

The Week - - Best Articles: Britain News -

Five peo­ple were hos­pi­talised and an en­tire school evac­u­ated in Bal­ti­more, thanks to a sickly-smelling air fresh­ener. A haz­ardous ma­te­ri­als re­sponse team was sum­moned to Cristo Rey Je­suit High School af­ter a mys­te­ri­ous odour swept through the build­ing. Two stu­dents and three adults were taken to hospi­tal with stom­ach up­sets, and sev­eral oth­ers re­ported breath­ing dif­fi­cul­ties. Fire­fight­ers even­tu­ally tracked the source of the stench to a third-floor class­room, where some­one had in­stalled a pump­kin spice plug-in air fresh­ener. A would-be mer­maid who was banned from her lo­cal swim­ming pool has been of­fered safe har­bour at a nearby leisure cen­tre. Leia Trig­ger, who also goes by the name Mer­maid Aries, con­structed her own fishy tail out of span­dex. But she was or­dered out of the wa­ter at Broms­grove swim­ming pool, in Worces­ter­shire, on the grounds that the tail posed a health and safety risk. Now, nearby Perdis­well Leisure Cen­tre has in­vited Trig­ger, 18, to use their pool in­stead. “It’s amaz­ing,” she says. “I fi­nally feel like my dream is in reach.”

A tea-lov­ing York­shire­man has changed his mid­dle name by deed poll to York­shire Tea. Nathan Gar­ner, 31, a con­crete-sprayer who lives near Sh­effield, drinks around 20 cups of tea ev­ery day. “I was at work one day and my mate Billy said, ‘Chuf­fin’ hell, you drink so much of that stuff you should change your name to York­shire Tea,’” he ex­plained. “I went on the in­ter­net and just changed it. Ev­ery­one thinks it’s right good.”

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