Fad di­ets are every­one’s dirty lit­tle se­cret

The Wharf - - Details - ANGELA CLARKE Fol­low Angela on Twit­ter: @TheAn­ge­laClarke

With one week be­tween the hol­i­day binge fest and squeez­ing into my book launch dress I’ve had to tackle a fad diet.

I am not re­ally a di­et­ing kind of girl. I could say I pre­fer to ex­er­cise reg­u­larly and eat a bit less as re­quired, but it’d be a delu­sion. It is still easier to have pud­ding, and squish my­self into corset style shapewear when nec­es­sary.

But un­til they in­vent Spanx for the face, and ev­ery sur­face in Ca­nary Wharf stops be­ing hor­ri­fy­ingly re­flec­tive, needs must.

Fad di­ets are a dirty se­cret be­cause they aren’t healthy. But con­fess you’re on one and peo­ple con­fess back.

I’ve got pals who are only drink­ing kale smooth­ies, those who are only eat­ing in the win­dow be­tween 8am and 9am each day, and those who are on “pow­dered” di­ets. That last one might be a eu­phemism for a pop­u­lar 1990s drug, but I didn’t like to pry.

Fad di­ets are cir­cu­lated by the water cooler and online, and al­ways in­clude do­ing some­thing un­hinged with your food in­take.

I chose the Ma­rine Com­mando diet, which, as far as I can tell, has noth­ing what­so­ever to do with the armed forces. It does how­ever have a lot to do with eggs.

On day one you eat nine eggs. Three for break­fast, three for lunch and three for din­ner. I strongly sus­pect there’s a gang­land family of chick­ens that have de­vised this as part of an evil a plan to take over the world. It was eggstremely try­ing. I’m not yolk­ing, I’m scram­bled.

Don’t be a chicken and opt for a fad diet. Stick to magic knick­ers and flat­ter­ing pho­to­graph fil­ters. Crack­ing.

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