Let’s reboot our TV classics, Wharf style
Blonde’s Eye View With Sheridan Smith’s latest drama, Clean
Break, set in Canary Wharf, it’s time we rethought our humble location.
We could take the opportunity to rebrand. Why limit ourselves to The
Apprentice? We could be the capital’s one stop shop for filming. London’s answer to LA. Hollywood Wharf.
All the television classics could be reborn here: Upstairs, Downstairs. A heartwarming tale of drama between the floors of One Canada Square. The lives of the masters (of the universe) upstairs, and the staff (pretty much everyone else) downstairs intertwine, against a backdrop of serious historical events, like the collapse of Lehman Brothers, and the arrival of Krispy Kreme doughnuts.
Murder, She Wrote. Crime writing sleuth Jessica Fletcher comes to E14 to research a novel set in a Pret: The Corpse Eats at Midnight (On The Last DLR Home). But six minutes into the episode, a Starbucks barista is discovered dead under a pile of coffee stirrers. With the help of the lovable but ineffectual estate security guard, Jessica works out whodunnit.
Only Fools & Horses. In this reboot, Del Boy affects the phrases and mannerisms of the upwardly mobile hipster, by growing a beard and hanging out in a juice bar in E14. Rodney flogs gluten free rolls, that actually contain gluten, to unsuspecting commuters.
Game of Thrones. “Winter is coming” is the motto of House Stark, whose family spend too long standing around the bottom of the glass towers where the wind’s a bit nippy. Is that roar an approaching dragon or the Jubilee line train?
The Office. No changes.