The world ac­cord­ing To alan

TV Times - - Puzzles -

I sup­pose life’s just too easy for me. I mean, I’m in­cred­i­bly rich, I’ve got the largest ma­jor­ity in the House of Com­mons and, if I was any bet­ter look­ing,

I think peo­ple would sus­pect I was an an­droid.’

In the good old days, you were poor, you got ill and you died. These days peo­ple seem to think they’ve got some sort of God-given right to be cured. And what is the re­sult of this sloppy so­cial­ist think­ing?

More poor peo­ple!’

Why should we, the coun­try that pro­duced Shake­speare, Christo­pher Wren – and those are just the peo­ple on our ban­knotes, for Christ’s sake – cower down to the coun­tries that pro­duced Hitler, Napoleon and the… the… The Smurfs!’

You know the re­ally great thing about a fudged coali­tion is that nei­ther of us need to carry out a sin­gle prom­ise

in our man­i­festos.’

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.