THE

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other day I no­ticed in the pa­per that a horse called Alice Springs was run­ning in the 3 o’clock at Don­caster. This struck a chord with me, as my wife is called Alice and when we were on our hon­ey­moon, we slept on a mat­tress that had springs in it. Feel­ing sen­ti­men­tal, I put £500 on it to win. How­ever, it lost, and when I told my wife she went ab­so­lutely bal­lis­tic. I was very dis­ap­pointed as I thought it was rather a ro­man­tic thing to do. Hon­estly, I will never un­der­stand women. Bar­tram Stains, Barns­ley

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