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is al­ways try­ing to get me to do jobs out­side my re­mit by say­ing: “Go on – it’ll be a feather in your cap.” In case he hasn’t no­ticed, I don’t wear a cap, and even if I did, I wouldn’t be mak­ing my­self look an even big­ger twat by stick­ing feath­ers in it. Pardraig Goole, Cheam

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