LOVES PUTTING THEIR FEET UP in front of the telly after a hard day, and the underwater Brits of 2020 will be no different. Current primetime stalwart The Great British
Bake Off has already survived a change of channel, and telly bosses are confident that it will cope with taking place at the bottom of the Channel just as well. However, with every cake, pie and pastry dissolving into a mushy, sodden heap that simply tastes of seawater the moment it comes out of the oven, the competition will be quite different from the one that millions love today. Three years from now, a submarine showstopper having a soggy bottom will be par for the course instead of the show’s cardinal crime as it is at present, and Paul Hollywood will have to tailor his judging criteria accordingly. One aspect of our small screen schedules that won’t change too drastically is stand-up comedy. We all love chuckling at the witty observations of professional funnymen such as Michael McIntyre, Rojesh Ranganathan and Peter Kay, and in the drowned world of 2020, our favourite side-splitting screen jesters will have acquired a hilarious cavalcade of new perceptions about everyday life underwater - such as how you rarely see white dogfish shit any more, how you wait ages for a guppy and then three come along at once, and sperm whales, what’s all that about?