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EV­ERY­ONE

LOVES PUTTING THEIR FEET UP in front of the telly af­ter a hard day, and the un­der­wa­ter Brits of 2020 will be no dif­fer­ent. Cur­rent prime­time stal­wart The Great Bri­tish

Bake Off has al­ready sur­vived a change of channel, and telly bosses are con­fi­dent that it will cope with tak­ing place at the bottom of the Channel just as well. How­ever, with ev­ery cake, pie and pas­try dis­solv­ing into a mushy, sod­den heap that sim­ply tastes of sea­wa­ter the mo­ment it comes out of the oven, the com­pe­ti­tion will be quite dif­fer­ent from the one that mil­lions love to­day. Three years from now, a sub­ma­rine show­stop­per hav­ing a soggy bottom will be par for the course in­stead of the show’s car­di­nal crime as it is at present, and Paul Hol­ly­wood will have to tai­lor his judg­ing cri­te­ria ac­cord­ingly. One as­pect of our small screen schedules that won’t change too dras­ti­cally is stand-up com­edy. We all love chuck­ling at the witty ob­ser­va­tions of pro­fes­sional fun­ny­men such as Michael McIn­tyre, Ro­jesh Ran­ganathan and Peter Kay, and in the drowned world of 2020, our favourite side-split­ting screen jesters will have ac­quired a hi­lar­i­ous cav­al­cade of new per­cep­tions about ev­ery­day life un­der­wa­ter - such as how you rarely see white dog­fish shit any more, how you wait ages for a guppy and then three come along at once, and sperm whales, what’s all that about?

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