SI­MON COW­ELL RU­INED MY LIFE

Pop Sven­gali is night­mare neigh­bour from Hell, say Red­ditch cou­ple

VIZ - - News -

AWEST MID­LANDS cou­ple have had their hopes of a quiet re­tire­ment trashed by SI­MON COW­ELL. Reg and Jan­ice Beet­root of Foulage Lane, Red­ditch, claim that the peace­ful cul de sac where they live has been turned into a liv­ing hell since the mil­lion­aire tal­ent show im­pre­sario and his rowdy fam­ily moved in. “The three months they’ve lived next door have been a night­mare,” Jan­ice, 68, a for­mer din­ner lady, told their lo­cal pa­per the Red­ditch Crumhorn. “They never stop ar­gu­ing. You can hear them through the walls, shout­ing, swear­ing and scream­ing at each other ev­ery hour of the day. They’re for­ever burn­ing rub­bish in the back yard, and they’ve got th­ese big dogs they keep chained up that bark all day while they’re out do­ing The X-fac­tor and Bri­tain’s Got Tal­ent.”

mon­key

Re­tired civil ser­vant Reg, 71, said: “Their kids are com­pletely out of con­trol. They’ve got th­ese mon­key bikes that they ride up and down the street, and if you tell them to ride them on the road you get a right load of four let­ter abuse for your trou­ble.”

“He’s got this Opel Manta up on bricks in the front, and he’s al­ways out there revving it up and tin­ker­ing with the en­gine,” Mr Beet­root added. “Last week I caught him emp­ty­ing a wash­ing up bowl of old sump oil down the drain and when I re­mon­strated with him, he called me an eff­ing c-word in front of my wife and threat­ened to put my win­dows through.”

Speak­ing to the pa­per, the Beet-

“Not only that,” said Mrs Beet­root. “But there’s men and girls knock­ing on the door at all hours, go­ing in that house and com­ing out ten min­utes later. I’m sure they’re run­ning a knock­ing shop in there.”

pigsy

“I’ve called the po­lice on them more times than I care to re­mem­ber, but they don’t even bother com­ing round any more. We’re at our wits’ end.”

TheBeet­roots have even con­sid­ered sell­ing up to get away from their night­mare neigh­bours. “We put the house on the mar­ket, but ev­ery po­ten­tial buyer who came round took one look at him sat in his front gar­den, drunk as a lord and swig­ging from a can of lager, with all his brood of kids run­ning around shout­ing and swear­ing, and they just drive on,” said Mr Beet­root.

sandy

“And who can blame them?” he added. “Who’d want to live next door to a fam­ily like the Cow­ells?”

Read­ing from a pre­pared state­ment, the Bri­tain’s Got Tal­ent star’s agent Jo­casta Sit­ton told the pa­per she was un­aware of any com­plaints from neigh­bours re­gard­ing the be­hav­iour of Si­mon Cow­ell’s fam­ily.

trip­i­taka

“If Mr and Mrs Beet­root have any com­plaints, they should say it to his fuck­ing face, not go squeal­ing to the fuck­ing pa­pers or the fuck­ing cop­pers,” she said.

“They’ll have a right old sort out, right there on the street, al­right? They can even pick some­body to help them if they like, and they can bring their fuck­ing din­ner. Be­cause they’ll need it af­ter he’s fin­ished with them,” Miss Sit­ton added.

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