GOOLE MAN TO WED FOR­EIGN BEAUTY

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WHENS­tan Gul­let walks down the aisle next month, he can be sure his brideto-be will look as pretty as a pic­ture. That’s be­cause the self-em­ployed handyman from Goole is mar­ry­ing THE MONA LISA!

Stan, 45, fell for the paint­ing, 498, while on a coach trip to Paris ear­lier this year. “I’d won the tick­ets in a meat raf­fle at my lo­cal and couldn’t sell them on, so I de­cided I might as well go” ex­plained Stan.

Once in The City Of Light, it didn’t take Stan long to make his way to The Lou­vre. “It was Satur­day af­ter­noon and none of the bars were show­ing the foot­ball, so it was that or sit in McDon­alds,” he rem­i­nisced.

But once in­side the world-fa­mous gallery, Stan’s eyes met those of the fa­mously enig­matic pic­ture and their love story be­gan.

“I’ve al­ways been a hit with the ladies” he smiled. “So when our eyes met across the crowded gallery, I thought I’d go over and have a crack at her.”

The part-time cow­boy builder’s patented chat-up lines broke the ice and soon the world’s most fa­mous painted rep­re­sen­ta­tion of a woman was lis­ten­ing, en­tranced to Stan’s tales of Goole pub fights and clients he had swin­dled.

But de­spite their grow­ing rap­port, there was one thing Stan and the Mona Lisa hadn’t bar­gained for: the gallery’s staff.

“We’d fallen for each other so quickly that I hardly heard the bell go at chuck­ing out time,” he said. “I wanted noth­ing more than to stay, but a guard came over and said some­thing in for­eign, and I had to leave with all the other vis­i­tors.”

Lovelorn Stan wasn’t go­ing to be beaten that eas­ily. He re­turned to the Lou­vre that night, climbed in through an open win­dow and made his way to the Mona Lisa’s gallery.

Keen to pre­serve his fi­ancée’s mod­esty, Stan re­fused to go into de­tail about what hap­pened dur­ing their moon­light tryst, but he de­scribes the 30” x 21” im­age as “Filthy. Ab­so­lutely filthy.”

The fol­low­ing day Stan popped the ques­tion to the paint­ing, be­fore ask­ing the gallery’s Direc­tor for his bless­ing.

When asked what mar­ried life holds for the cou­ple, Stan was thought­ful. “I con­sid­ered mov­ing to Paris, but I don’t like for­eign food, plus I’d miss my lo­cal and the book­ies,” he said. “So she’ll be mov­ing to Goole.”

And once in Goole, the uni­ver­sally-beloved con­fig­u­ra­tion of pig­ment and poplar wood will be swap­ping her spa­cious Parisian gallery for Stan’s in­ti­mate pieda-terre in the heart of York­shire’s largest coun­cil es­tate.

“I don’t think she’ll find it much dif­fer­ent” said Stan. “Just like Paris, Goole’s got shops and streets – we’ve even got a pave­ment café out­side the Greggs.”

But de­spite Stan’s op­ti­mism for his new re­la­tion­ship, his ex- wife Linda had a warn­ing for the new Mrs Gul­let-to-be.

“Stan’s very charm­ing, but be­lieve you me, once he’s got what he wants he’ll drop you like a hot brick. I just hope he doesn’t leave you how he left me, with three kids and a dose of the clap.”

The Mona Lisa was ap­proached for her re­ac­tion, and re­sponded by smil­ing enig­mat­i­cally whilst her eyes fol­lowed our re­porter round the room.

Art­ful snog­ger: Sil­ver tongued Stan found true love in Lou­vre.

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