PORN TO BE QUEEN
Shipley driving instructor reveals sordid X-rated past of Harry’s bride to be!
DESPITE the squeaky clean image that royal fiancee Meghan Markle has been so keen to promote, a West Yorkshire driving instructor says he has cast iron proof that she once starred in a hardcore pornographic movie. And now 58-year-old CLIFTON RADFORD is involved in a race against time to produce the evidence that he claims will prevent Harry from making the biggest mistake of his life. Radford, who has a collection of more than 10,000 erotic videos and DVDs stored in the attic of his Shipley home, told us: “If they get married and then this explicit footage comes to light, God knows what damage could be done to the British monarchy.”
“When Harry and Meghan appeared on the news to announce their engagement, I knew I had seen her before,” he said. “Then it came to me; I recognised her from one of the mucky vids in my collection.”
“This bongo flick will lead to the biggest constitutional crisis this country has ever faced.”
“I must have last watched it fifteen years ago or more; a petite woman with long dark hair, getting gangbanged off eight men in the back of a Winnebago. It was definitely her. Definitely. She must of made the film when she was a struggling actress.”
“I remember, it particularly caught my attention at the time, because it was the first time I’d ever seen a DVDA double spitroast with downhill
skiing,” he continued. Now Radford has vowed to search through his entire library of erotica to find the elusive hardcore sequence. He told us: “I’ve got less than six months to sift through more than thirty thousand hours of scud, looking for a five-minute clip. That’s a big ask.”
“I’ll have to approach the task systematically, fast forwarding through anything lesbianny, anything with blondes, or anything with fewer than eight blokes.”
But Clifton’s marathon quest has hit hit an unexpected hitch early on. He told us: “I’ve got most of my films in boxes up in the loft, but I’ve put quite a lot of weight on just lately and I can’t get through the hatch.”
POKING GUN: Video will prove Markle had seedy past.
MEGHAN WHOOPEE: Markle took part in saucy ninesome.