The Lowdown on… Joke Shop FLIES

VIZ - - News - with Pro­fes­sor Frank Lowdown Churchill Col­lege, Cam­bridge

JOKE SHOP FLIES are big busi­ness. It is es­ti­mated that more than 95% of the global pop­u­la­tion reg­u­larly put joke shop flies on their friends’ food for a laugh. The in­ter­na­tional joke shop fly mar­ket is worth more than $2 tril­lion a year, and is a vi­tal cog in the world’s eco­nomic en­gine.

Let’s spend a day with the boss of a joke shop fly man­u­fac­tur­ing cor­po­ra­tion to get the lowdown on this amaz­ing multi-bil­lion dol­lar busi­ness.

NEXT WEEK: The Lowdown on the Wor­ry­ing Es­ca­la­tion of Stink Bomb Pro­duc­tion in North Korea

AF­TER a work­ing lunch snatched at his desk, dur­ing which he re­views sev­eral am­bi­tious de­sign pro­pos­als for a new range of joke shop flies, horse­flies and wasps, Bate­man rushes across the city to ad­dress a high-pow­ered con­fer­ence of joke shop fly...

BATE­MAN calls an emer­gency video con­fer­ence with his le­gal team. One of his com­pany’s best­selling de­signs - a house­fly - is be­ing pi­rated in South Amer­ica. The copy­cat joke shop flies in ques­tion are of in­fe­rior qual­ity, with mould­ing burr left on the...

8.30 am and it’s time for a work­ing break­fast with the owner of an in­jec­tion mould­ing plant in China, hop­ing to se­cure an or­der for 30 bil­lion joke shop flies. He wants 3.05p per unit, but that would mean that Global Joke Shop Fly Corp would have to...

BATE­MAN has his first cof­fee of the day at a brief­ing meet­ing in the board­room. His di­rec­tors bring him up to speed on any overnight fluc­tu­a­tions in joke shop fly fu­tures. This morn­ing brings good news: ini­tial sales of the com­pany’s lat­est prod­uct, a...

AS Bate­man en­ters his of­fice suite on the 88th floor, his sec­re­tary brings him up to speed on the day’s sched­uled ap­point­ments and meet­ings. But be­fore he does any­thing, he checks his com­pany stock on the Asian Mar­kets be­fore they close in or­der to...

IT’S 8.30pm, the end of an­other busy day at the of­fice, and Bate­man makes his way up to the roof of his head­quar­ters to catch the com­pany he­li­copter. But his work­ing day is far from over. Dur­ing the 30 minute flight to his home in the Hamp­tons, he will...

IT’S 6.30 am and Lance Bate­man, CEO of one of the world’s big­gest joke shop fly busi­nesses, Global Joke Shop Fly Corp, ar­rives at his com­pany’s pala­tial glass and steel head­quar­ters in Man­hat­tan’s swish Joke Shop Fly dis­trict. He makes his early start...

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