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VIZ - - Letter Blocks - top­tips@viz.co.uk

PRE­TEND you’re an Amer­i­can Foot­ball player by do­ing a wee dance ev­ery time you walk 5 yards with­out fall­ing over. Gary Ire­land, Tau­ranga

COM­MUTERS. Save valu­able time by work­ing from home and sim­ply mak­ing the 46-mile round trip to buy your sand­wiches from the vend­ing ma­chine at work in the mid­dle of the night when the roads are prac­ti­cally empty. Jane Hoole Gar­ner, St Ives

NEXT time you wash your hands, pre­tend you’re a fa­mous ten­nis player by throw­ing the towel be­hind you with­out look­ing, and ex­pect­ing a child to catch it and take it away. Chris Stack, Gem­brook

FOR a break­fast time treat, put tiny bits of ba­con and fried egg into your corn­flakes bowl to cre­ate a Full English Break­fast Ce­real. Oh, and don’t for­get the black pud­ding. Mark Le Lievre, email

DARTS an­nounc­ers. Hone your abil­ity to say “26” in a dis­ap­pointed man­ner by watch­ing blokes play darts down the pub. James Wal­lace, Belper MAKE your work­ing day seem shorter by turn­ing up 2 hours late. Kitty Lit­ter, Hull

CAN’T af­ford an ex­pen­sive per­son­alised car num­ber plate? Con­trary to the many pre­vi­ous Top Tips, Deed Poll will not ac­tu­ally ac­cept an ap­pli­ca­tion for a name that con­tains num­bers. You’ll just have to find another way to let peo­ple know you’re a bit of a prick.

Bren­dan Stitch, Sandy­balls

MAKE your wind­screen wipers go twice as fast in tor­ren­tial rain by wag­ging your head from side to side in the op­po­site di­rec­tion. Nort Shaw, Dun­now

SAVE money on ex­pen­sive cor­duroys by sel­l­otap­ing spaghetti to the front of your jeans. Floaty Ade, Slough

BALD­ING men. Cel­e­brate your ever-in­creas­ing egg-in-the-nest by tat­too­ing the perime­ter of your pate ev­ery year. That way, when your are com­pletely slap-headed, you will have an Ord­nance Sur­veystyle record of your hair his­tory. Mark Le Lievre, email

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