Crisis on the Cards!
TRAVEL AGENTS were warning tourists against travelling to Greece next year, as stocks of playing cards with pictures of big cocks on them have reached an all time low.
Since the package holiday boom of the 1970s, no break to Greece has been complete without buying a pack of cards with big cock pictures on them to take back home. But there are fears that the predicted shortage could see that situation change.
In an attempt to avert the looming crisis, the Greek tourism ministry has approached the EU hoping for a temporary bailout. And whilst the Berlin delegation are understood to have provisionally agreed to provide them with an emergency stock of playing cards featuring
Greeks go cap-inhand to EU for help over big cock card shortage
people pissing and having things put up their arses, the Greeks are reportedly not happy at the prospect of being forced to sell Germanstyle perverted souvenirs.
An E.U. spokesman told reporters: “For countries with tourism-based economies, sensibly managing stocks of big cock cards should be one of the prerequisites of Single Market membership. Unfortunately, Greece seems to have enjoyed the boom years without giving a thought to what would happen when big cock cards became harder to source.”
But always available travel writer Simon Calder argued that the trend away from package holidays towards DIY deals was behind the crisis.
“The internet has killed the trade stone dead,” he told anyone who would put a microphone near his mouth.
“Will that do? I’m due on BBC News in 5 minutes to talk about an outbreak of salmonella on a cruise ship,” he added.
A local Athens souvenir shop owner who has been selling packs of cards with big cocks on them for over 20 years told us he couldn’t ever remember things being so bad.
“We’ve got just one crate of old rude playing cards left in the back, but once they are gone that’s it,” he said. “No-one wants to buy last year’s big cock pictures.”
“If people stop buying flick knives that are actually combs, I’ll be ruined,” he added.
Big cock-up: card shortage looms.