Dear Miriam

VIZ - - Janet Of The Apes -

MY hus­band is an ad­ven­turer and he re­cently brought a King Kong back from an ex­pe­di­tion to the South Seas. Now I fear that this enor­mous mon­key has come be­tween me and him.

Iam36, my hus­band is 38, and we’ve been mar­ried for 12 years. He used to be a very at­ten­tive hus­band, buy­ing me flow­ers, tak­ing me out to restau­rants and telling­mehe telling me he loved me. But as soon as he had this 100foot go­rilla chained up in the back yard, he started to be­come dis­tant and no longer seemed to have any time for me. One night last week, week I cooked my hus­band a spe­cial ro­man­tic meal. I spent ages pre­par­ing it, cook­ing all his favourite dishes and get­ting the am­bi­ence just right, with can­dles on the ta­ble and soft mu­sic play­ing on the stereo. How­ever, half­way through the first course, the King Kong some­how broke free from its iron shack­les, stuck its hand through the dining room win­dow and grabbed me out of my chair.

It car­ried me right up to the top of a nearby block of flats, where it sat and picked all my clothes off with its enor­mous fin­gers. In the end, some­one called out the RAF who ar­rived in a Eu­rofighter and shot it dead. Ever since then, my hus­band has been cold and dis­tant. Even though he won’t ad­mit it, I think he se­cretly blames me for the death of his King Kong.

I sug­gested to him that we go to a mar­riage guid­ance coun­sel­lor to talk things through, but he re­fused to dis­cuss the sub­ject. Please help me, Miriam. I’m scared that our mar­riage could break down if we don’t sort out this prob­lem soon. Ada D., Portsmouth Miriam says: The loss of an en­raged 100ft go­rilla in such tragic cir­cum­stances would put a strain on even the strong­est mar­riage. How­ever, your hus­band should not be blam­ing you for the death of his King Kong, and you should speak frankly to him be­fore this bone of con­tention be­gins to fes­ter. Ex­plain to him how up­set you were when it car­ried you up them flats and picked your clothes off. If he re­ally loves you, he will un­der­stand that there are two sides to every story, and a King Kong get­ting shot by a Eu­rofighter is sim­ply one of the tri­als that every re­la­tion­ship must en­dure.

I am send­ing you my leaflet: ‘King Kongs, Your Mar­riage and You.

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