VOODOO CHILES!

Beeb Broad­caster in Black Magic Brouhaha

VIZ - - Meddlesome Ratbag -

FRIENDS and col­leagues of BBC 5Live pre­sen­ter ADRIAN CHILES are said to be gravely con­cerned fol­low­ing the ra­dio per­son­al­ity’s re­cent con­ver­sion to Voodoo­ism. And they fear that the pop­u­lar Brum­mie host has been anointed as a bokor, or black magic Voodoo priest, and that he has been us­ing BBC prop­erty as a lo­cus for sac­ri­fice and ini­ti­a­tion cer­e­monies.

Chiles, 60, who was a telly favourite in such shows as The One Show, Christine and Adrian’s Friend­ship Test and My Mediter­ranean with Adri

an Chiles, is also ac­cused of dab­bling in other sor­cery as­so­ci­ated with the Haitian dark arts cult in­clud­ing:

Us­ing gris-gris charms to boost rat­ings of his Chiles on Fri­day ra­dio show.

Vis­it­ing the kalfou, a set of cross roads where good and evil in­ter­sect, as part of a mid­night deal to help West Bromwich Al­bion avoid rel­e­ga­tion from the Pre­mier League.

Em­ploy­ing the ser­vices of lougarous, shape-shift­ing black ma­gi­cians, to curse com­pet­ing 5 Live broad­caster Emma Bar­nett with a slight throat in­fec­tion.

Honour­ing, through rites and of­fer­ings, Papa Legba, the su­per­nat­u­ral, im­mor­tal spirit who guards the gate­way be­tween the ma­te­rial and spir­i­tual worlds, to avoid park­ing tick­ets.

Wear­ing a black cat bone as a mojo to en­tice Su­san­nah Reid to lean for­ward in a low cut dress so as he can get a good view of her breasts. The for­mer Match of the

Day 2 pre­sen­ter has so far re­fused to com­ment on the ru­mours of his in­doc­tri­na­tion into the un­ortho­dox New Or­leans sect. How­ever, BBC Chair­man Mark Thomp­son said there was no truth in the ru­mour that li­cence pay­ers’ money was be­ing spent on any forms of necro­mancy or shaman­ism. He than shook a sa­cred magic rat­tle fash­ioned from a gourd at re­porters and threat­ened hexes on any­one mak­ing such al­le­ga­tions.

Chiles play: Is pre­sen­ter Adrian in­v­oled in Voodoo cult?

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from UK

© PressReader. All rights reserved.