TOP TIPS

VIZ - - Letter Bocks -

VOYEURS. Avoid be­ing ar­rested by wear­ing a hard hat and hi-viz vest and plac­ing a yel­low tri­pod out­side the house or stu­dent flats of the ladies you wish to view. They will be­lieve you are a sur­veyor and will hap­pily re­move their bra with­out con­cern.

Iwan Carr, Up­per Lland­wrog GEN­TLE­MEN. Run out of clean grundies and need to know if you can re-use yes­ter­day's? Use an old min­ing in­dus­try test and drape them over a ca­nary's cage. If the bird doesn’t fall off its perch, you're good for an­other cou­ple of days.

Graham, email. SWEETCORN ker­nels make ideal tooth re­place­ments for chain smok­ers who’ve been fight­ing.

Daniel Slight, Grantham TRAMPS. Bring a touch of class to your street cor­ner booz­ing by con­sum­ing a ‘Jer­oboam' of cider.

Rolly Rog­ton, Bolton ARMY cadets. Get on the right side of your drill in­struc­tor by dis­creetly us­ing your watch to re­flect the sun on to your toe caps dur­ing morn­ing in­spec­tions.

Nigel Kelly, Dro­more

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