be a coincidence that a marked increase in childhood obesity has coincided with a corresponding decline in the good old-fashioned practice of scrumping. When we were kids, nicking apples was a great way for us to get at least one of our government-recommended five-a-day. We also got a bit of exercise as we legged it from an angry bloke, holding the fruit aloft in one hand and giving him the wanker sign with the other. So come on, let’s get our kids fit and healthy by sending them out on the rob again. It’s the ideal time to do so, what with there being no fruit-pickers left after Brexit.