... Is YOUR Wife Hav­ing an Af­fair with the Milk­man?

We ask the ques­tion that EV­ERY mar­ried man wants an­swer­ing

VIZ - - 4-page Plastics Special Report -

AS

you glance up from your news­pa­per and look at your wife as she does the dishes, hoovers around your feet, or brings you a cup of tea, have you ever asked your­self: Is she hav­ing it off with the milk­man? You can’t sim­ply ask her out­right, as she’s al­most cer­tain to feign of­fence at the sug­ges­tion that she is reneg­ing on her mar­riage vows. But there is a much eas­ier way to find out the truth. Sim­ply an­swer the ques­tions in this quiz and tot up your score to dis­cover once and for all what she gets up to ev­ery morn­ing when she hears the milk­man’s float pulling up out­side.

1. Where does your wife get the milk?

a. She pops to the cor­ner shop for it b. She gets it from the su­per­mar­ket c. She gets it de­liv­ered to the door by the milk­man

2. What time do you leave the house each morn­ing?

a. At the same time the milk­man ar­rives

b. Af­ter the milk­man has been and gone

c. Be­fore the milk­man ar­rives

3. When you set off for work ev­ery day, what is your wife wear­ing?

a. Track­suit trousers and a baggy jog­ging top

b. A stout house­coat, dowdy apron and baggy tights

c. A see-through chiffon baby­doll nightie with pink fur round the bot­tom and a pair of high-heeled, fluffy mules

4. What does your wife lis­ten to on the kitchen ra­dio as you’re go­ing out to work?

a. The To­day pro­gramme on Ra­dio 4

b. The Break­fast show with Nick Grimshaw on Ra­dio 1

c. A com­pi­la­tion CD of sul­try sax­o­phone mu­sic

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