VIZ - - Viz Royal Campaign -

EACH year, the Queen sits for an of­fi­cial por­trait. In the past, her im­age has been im­mor­talised in oils by such em­i­nent artists as Pi­etro An­nigoni, Lu­cian Freud and Rolf Har­ris, and il­lus­tri­ous names like these don’t come cheap. It’s an un­de­ni­able fact that, with each com­mis­sion cost­ing at least £50,000 or more, royal por­trai­ture is an area that is clearly ripe for cost-cut­ting.

For her next of­fi­cial like­ness, Her Majesty should sim­ply get her but­ler to snap her on his mo­bile phone and then use a free fun “app” to ap­ply an oil-paint­ing ef­fect to the im­age. For a mere £15 or so, the fin­ished por­trait could then be printed out A2-size, with a matt or gloss fin­ish, at the May­fair branch of Snappy Snaps. For a few pounds ex­tra, if it is go­ing to be dis­played at the Na­tional Gallery, the pic­ture could even be ap­plied to real can­vas and then popped into a smart £10 frame from IKEA. Hold it, ma’am… Flash, bang, wal­lop! What a sav­ing!

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