How to RA­DI­ATE con­fi­dence

Woman & Home - - Life Tools -

Psy­chol­o­gist Dr Hamira Riaz sug­gests we “play the part of the win­ner, re­gard­less of how we feel in­side”. Our body lan­guage, speech and even our clothes can all ra­di­ate con­fi­dence – or the op­po­site. And there’s sci­en­tific back­ing be­hind “fak­ing it ’til you make it”. One study took a group of chron­i­cally shy peo­ple and asked them to pre­tend they weren’t shy. Af­ter two weeks of pre­tend­ing, they ac­tu­ally felt less shy. This is be­cause when you’re do­ing the things a con­fi­dent per­son would do, you gain skills and your con­fi­dence grows.

Know your worth, and wear clothes that make you feel fan­tas­tic. And, yes, put on that bright red lip­stick and get your nails done too. “When I get my hair blow-dried I feel a hun­dred times more gor­geous and con­fi­dent than when I don’t,” says War­rell. “It’s easy to say it won’t make a dif­fer­ence, but when you spend time mak­ing sure you look great, it re­ally does shift how you feel.”

And watch what you say. Don’t over-apol­o­gise or talk your­self down. Of­ten when some­one gives us a com­pli­ment we’ll say, “Oh I got lucky.” But when we talk our­selves down that can sub­lim­i­nally shrink our self-worth. Dr Riaz ad­vises clients to pre­pare for stress­ful con­ver­sa­tions by prep­ping in front of a mir­ror. Re­hears­ing will help you con­trol the power dy­namic and hold your own. “The idea is that you see your­self in ac­tion and you’re aware of how your pos­ture and fa­cial ex­pres­sions change as you speak.”

DO IT Stand tall and take up space. Re­search has shown that con­fi­dence is non-ver­bally dis­played through height and space, so keep your pos­ture straight, your shoul­ders back and your head held high. Also, when women adopt more clas­si­cally male seat­ing pos­tures such as tak­ing up more space, our testos­terone lev­els rise along with our con­fi­dence lev­els. w & h

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