the best things in life are free rosie Green on the joy of free­bies

Noth­ing in life in­spires joy like a free­bie, says rosie Green. She’s not proud…

Woman & Home - - In This Issue… -

Warn­ing: I’m an­tic­i­pat­ing news of a world­wide tomato ketchup sa­chet short­age will soon be dis­sem­i­nated through in­ter­na­tional news out­lets. The rea­son for the dearth? My son. For him there is no meal, no or­ganic meat, Ot­tolenghi dish or freshly picked vegetable, that can­not not be im­proved by Heinz’s mix of toma­toes, spirit vine­gar, sugar, salt and spices.

I am ob­vi­ously slightly dis­dain­ful of his ex­ces­sive us­age (as I see it), so he has be­come se­cre­tive about his be­hav­iour. And as such, when we visit ser­vice sta­tions or pubs or any lower-brow eat­ing es­tab­lish­ment, he stealth­ily stock­piles sa­chets, and se­cretes them in his pock­ets or his ruck­sack. When those stor­age op­tions are full or un­avail­able, he will slide them sur­rep­ti­tiously into my hand­bag. This is prob­lem­atic, due to the po­ten­tial of spillage on the grey leather and the like­li­hood of whip­ping out a packet of Heinz’s finest when try­ing to pro­duce a pen in a top-level meet­ing. But I am happy about one thing: he’s in­her­ited my joy of get­ting some­thing for noth­ing…

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