My daugh­ter is a bully

Woman (UK) - - Family Dilemmas -

my daugh­ter’s school asked me to come in and told me a girl in her class has said she bul­lies her. my daugh­ter says it’s true – she’s sent this girl texts and mes­sages on so­cial me­dia, but says it was a joke and she wasn’t the only one. They want her to go to what they call ‘restora­tive jus­tice’, but is this nec­es­sary? Be­ing la­belled a bully is ter­ri­ble and it may harm her chances of get­ting into a good univer­sity. How can I get them to back down?

Suzie says:

Be­ing la­belled a bully is aw­ful. Far worse is to be one, or to be bul­lied. In­stead of au­to­mat­i­cally back­ing up your child, I think you need to look at her be­hav­iour with­out the sort of de­nial she is in­dulging in. Where did she learn that, I wonder? What she did can’t be called a joke, and just be­cause other peo­ple are that cruel doesn’t ex­cuse your daugh­ter from her re­spon­si­bil­ity for join­ing in – or lead­ing it. I’m so re­lieved to hear the school are tak­ing this se­ri­ously. She, and maybe you, should in­deed take part in the ini­tia­tive they of­fer. The or­gan­i­sa­tion bul­ly­ing.co.uk helps not only chil­dren who are vic­tims of bul­ly­ing, but the kids do­ing it and their par­ents. Get in touch via the web­site or on 0808 800 2222.

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