He keeps photos of naked women
my partner and I both have pictures of our exes – I’m not worried about that. But doing a clear-out I found a whole box full of photos of naked women and he admitted they were of women from his past. I freaked out and said it made me feel awful. But he just laughed and said he had no intention of throwing them away. He also said if he did, what would be next – his old wedding photos, his pictures of him at graduation with his then girlfriend? and that I was prudish and unreasonable. am I?
I don’t think so. Pictures of his wedding day or graduation are parts of his past – records of important rites of passage that make him the man he is today. There is no way you can equate those with naked pictures of random women. Quite apart from being, frankly, creepy and possibly illegal – does he have their express consent to have kept those images? It’s his refusal to acknowledge and take on board your distress that worries me. I have a strict rule about relationships – if one party cannot and will not listen to a partner’s unhappiness and refuses to change the behaviour that causes that unhappiness, it isn’t a relationship. Far from asking him to throw away the pics, you should be throwing him away. Now.