Ihave three children, my sister has two. we always buy each other’s kids presents and cards for birthdays – nothing expensive, just ways of saying ‘I love you and am thinking of you’. my third child, a daughter, is much younger than the others – we had her late and she’ll be four this year. and my sister has forgotten every single one of her birthdays. So far she’s been too young to notice, but since her brothers’ birthdays are one and two months before hers, I think she’ll notice soon. what can I say without upsetting my sister?
There may be some deep psychological reason why your sister ‘edits’ her memories of your children, ‘Photoshopping’ your youngest out of the picture. And maybe at some point you could have that conversation with her, to find out and help her deal with it. For now, all you need do is jog her memory. When you help the son with the earlier birthday deliver thanks for his gift, remark on how much son number two is looking forward to his birthday too...and that your daughter is of course now old enough to understand what is happening and to be getting excited as well. Repeat after that second event, and offer some ideas of what your daughter might like. If she forgets then, tell her it’s time to talk.