If you recognise any of the household crimes on this page, don’t be fooled like I have for close to 13 years. now I’ve rumbled a man’s use of ‘strategic incompetence’ to get him out of menial tasks around the house, I can see right through him. Can’t cook? of course he can! Can’t sort the laundry? Just try harder! Can’t order a food shop? Keep practising, you’ll get it in the end! You see, the truth is, women can play just as many games as men can when it comes to it. Something Vinny himself agreed when I finally accused him of deliberately getting out of chores. Like how I can’t seem to iron a shirt until my own blouse needs doing. or how I refuse to strip the bed. ‘But I can’t stretch!’ I proclaim, and yet I have no trouble reaching the biscuits at the top of the cupboard. So to avoid another domestic standoff we’ve both agreed to try harder. I’ve promised to iron more shirts, while Vinny’s agreed to fill the dishwasher more often. In theory, we’re going to set a perfect example of domestic equality. In reality... I give it a week.
After 13 years, we’ve reached a compromise