Ask the Ex­perts re­la­tion­ship, fam­ily, med­i­cal and money probs, re­solved

Woman (UK) - - This Issue -

My fi­ancé loves my six-year-old daugh­ter and his par­ents have been great and get on with us both. The trou­ble is his preg­nant sis­ter. I can for­give her con­stantly call­ing her bump the ‘first grand­child’, which is fair. And even that she’s cho­sen a name like both mine and my daugh­ter’s, and uses the nick­name that we both use to re­fer to her. But I can’t for­give her for in­sist­ing we all change how we are called, so as not to ‘con­fuse the baby’. My fi­ancé is all for giv­ing in – he says his sis­ter is in a del­i­cate state. But I have the feel­ing it’s noth­ing to do with the preg­nancy and this will go on well past the birth. What should I do?

Suzie says:

Your re­sponse is ac­tu­ally very sim­ple. You tell your fi­ancé’s par­ents and his sis­ter that you are not go­ing to change your name, or your daugh­ter’s name, be­cause some­one else wants to name their child the same. And that the con­ver­sa­tion is over. You don’t need to get into an ar­gu­ment, jus­tify or ex­plain. That’s that. And if they can’t be­have with min­i­mum po­lite­ness, ab­sent your­self from their com­pany un­til they can. I think you are right – this is not about the present sit­u­a­tion but an on­go­ing game that she plays with them all.

Suzie says don’t al­low your­self to be bul­lied

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