Ask the Experts relationship, family, medical and money probs, resolved
My fiancé loves my six-year-old daughter and his parents have been great and get on with us both. The trouble is his pregnant sister. I can forgive her constantly calling her bump the ‘first grandchild’, which is fair. And even that she’s chosen a name like both mine and my daughter’s, and uses the nickname that we both use to refer to her. But I can’t forgive her for insisting we all change how we are called, so as not to ‘confuse the baby’. My fiancé is all for giving in – he says his sister is in a delicate state. But I have the feeling it’s nothing to do with the pregnancy and this will go on well past the birth. What should I do?
Your response is actually very simple. You tell your fiancé’s parents and his sister that you are not going to change your name, or your daughter’s name, because someone else wants to name their child the same. And that the conversation is over. You don’t need to get into an argument, justify or explain. That’s that. And if they can’t behave with minimum politeness, absent yourself from their company until they can. I think you are right – this is not about the present situation but an ongoing game that she plays with them all.
Suzie says don’t allow yourself to be bullied
Solve your family dilemmas with expert advice