‘I love my new­found in­de­pen­dence’

Woman (UK) - - Beauty -

Lisa Sil­cox, 43, lives in Kent with chil­dren, Jude, 16, Sid, nine, and Belle, six.

When my part­ner and I split in 2013, it wasn’t easy. I’d never re­ally been on my own and now sud­denly I was a sin­gle mum, too.

But af­ter lots of late nights spent wor­ry­ing, I re­alised that in­stead of look­ing at the sit­u­a­tion as a bad one, I had to fo­cus on the pos­i­tives.

I’d spent years pick­ing up af­ter my ex, fight­ing over the TV re­mote, de­bat­ing where to go on hol­i­day. That was over. I’d been

trapped in the mis­con­cep­tion that happy fam­i­lies in­volved a mum and a dad as a cou­ple – but I wasn’t happy.

Now, sin­gle, I got to make all the rules. If I wanted to take the chil­dren on hol­i­day, I could, and if I wanted to paint the kitchen pur­ple, I could do that, too. The best thing was, the kids were hap­pier too.

I loved my new­found in­de­pen­dence, and with it came the con­fi­dence to find a new job, in a school, which I love.

Five years on, Jude, Sid and Belle love our walks in the woods, bak­ing cakes and danc­ing to their favourite tunes. But it’s im­por­tant to me they see their fa­ther too and they go to their dad’s a cou­ple of nights a week.

I wouldn’t feel com­fort­able bring­ing a stranger into the chil­dren’s lives. If a man let me down, they’d be let­ting the kids down too, and that’s not some­thing I’m will­ing to risk. If I did meet some­one, they’d have to fit in with my life, not the other way around.

Su­per mum: Lisa

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