a prob­lem shared: our ther­a­pist anita naik tack­les your con­cerns

Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years

Woman's Own - - Woman’s Own | Welcome - Con­tact Anita Send your ques­tions to askanita@ timeinc.com Fol­low her on Twit­ter @Ani­tanaik Or go to ani­tanaik.com

Q A month ago, my daugh­ter had her first baby. We’re all ex­cited about the new ad­di­tion. I de­cided at the be­gin­ning to keep my dis­tance so my daugh­ter could get to grips with moth­er­hood – un­less she needed me – but her mother-in-law prac­ti­cally moved in. She does every­thing. I feel I’m not needed and I’ve had less time with my grand­son than her. Janet, 62, Brent­ford A With two dot­ing grand­mas in the mix you’re al­ways go­ing to be step­ping on each other’s toes. But this isn’t a com­pe­ti­tion – you didn’t want to be hands-on 24/7, while she does. she’s just help­ing her own son be a par­ent. talk to your daugh­ter and ask her what she needs from you. yes her mother-in­law is help­ing but she still needs her own mum and it’s likely she wants some­thing very dif­fer­ent from you.

Our li­bidos are to­tally out of sync

Q My part­ner and I have al­ways had dif­fer­ent sex drives. But lately I find I want sex less and less and he wants it more. I’m happy about once a month but he’d like it every other day. I know he’s hurt when I say no but I can’t help how I feel. Jenny, 54, Herts A it’s very com­mon for one part­ner to have a lower or higher li­bido than the other and this can leave you both feel­ing re­jected and mis­un­der­stood. Just be very hon­est about why you’re say­ing no and be clear that it’s not about him. At the same time think of com­pro­mises that keep you both happy so that’s it’s not all or noth­ing.

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