A prob­lem shared with agony aunt Anita Naik

Woman's Own - - HELLO & WELCOME - Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years.

We have to see my hus­band’s Q

ex-wife ev­ery week­end when his kids come to stay. She and I don’t get on, but what gets me is he flirts with her. I’m talk­ing teas­ing and flat­tery and hugs, all of which she loves and makes a big show about. It makes me fu­ri­ous, as I have to stand and watch, but when I ac­cuse him of do­ing this, he gets an­gry, say­ing I am be­ing jeal­ous. How can I dis­cuss this with him prop­erly? Anne, 44, Lon­don A It’s never easy hav­ing dif­fi­cult con­ver­sa­tions with part­ners, so what tends to hap­pen is we rush in with ac­cu­sa­tions and the other per­son be­comes de­fen­sive and shuts down. Try mak­ing ‘I’ state­ments that tell your part­ner how his be­hav­iour makes you feel. For ex­am­ple, rather than say­ing, ‘Stop flirt­ing with your ex,’ say, ‘I feel up­set and hurt when you flirt with your ex-wife.’ This is less likely to make your part­ner feel at­tacked and

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