Find out why she’s behaving this way
QI’m embarrassed by my daughter’s behaviour and I don’t know how to raise this without her becoming defensive and cross with me. A very close friend of hers, and of the family, was suddenly taken ill. It was so bad, she had to get her three-year-old to fetch the phone before she could even call for help. She was then taken into hospital. She has three children, two of them school-age.
I know from my friend that my daughter hasn’t been to visit or even offered any help. I thought I’d brought my children up to care for people. Why is she being like this?
AI understand you feel disappointed but, unless you talk to your daughter, you won’t know the reason. It’s also possible your friend has not given you the correct information. Making assumptions and minding about something you haven’t verified will only lead to upset and further misunderstandings.
Ask your daughter yourself about her friend’s situation, and see what she says. Don’t attack her for her bad behaviour – just listen. If you still feel that something needs to be said, then explain why and how it made you feel. Telling off another adult rarely gets a positive result.