Here to HELP

Let coun­sel­lor Keren lighten your load

Woman's Weekly (UK) - - Health -

It’s a great op­por­tu­nity, so try to make it work

Q I’m 54 and I’ve just been of­fered pro­mo­tion at work. I’m thrilled but the down­side is I’d need to move to an­other town 100 miles away. There isn’t a good train route so I’d have to drive and that’s too far ev­ery day. My

mother is el­derly, un­well and find­ing it hard to man­age. I also have three chil­dren in their late teens and early 20s who mainly live with me. If I took up the of­fer, they’d move to their fa­ther’s and I don’t want that. But I know I’ll never get this op­por­tu­nity again.

Myr­iam, Northamp­ton A Con­grat­u­la­tions! It sounds like a great op­por­tu­nity. As­sum­ing this isn’t shift work, you’ll have the week­ends free when you could be home. It isn’t as though your mother will have no-one around. Your chil­dren could cope in an emer­gency and, if needed, you could al­ways come home. Is it such a bad thing for the chil­dren to live at their dad’s in the week? You could also ask your new boss if you could do one day at home a week. If you re­ally want the job, then look at all the ways to make it

work and I’m sure you’ll find a so­lu­tion.

Ex­plain how you feel

Q My son’s in-laws have in­vited me for Christ­mas. I’m wid­owed and I think they feel they have to ask me as my son and his wife are go­ing there. I don’t like them much and I don’t

want to go. I’m fine on my own. How do

I tell ev­ery­one with­out sound­ing rude?

De­bra, sus­sex A Why do you think you’d sound rude? I’m sure you’re not plan­ning on telling them you don’t like them! Ex­plain as you have to me that you’re happy on your own and you’d rather do that than be away from home. Per­haps you could sug­gest meet­ing up on an or­di­nary day for a meal where you could spend a cou­ple of hours with them with­out all the trim­mings. That way, they won’t feel you don’t want to see them and you’ll re­duce the time to­gether to some­thing much more man­age­able.

Email Wo­man­sWeek­lyPost­bag@ti-me­dia.com Write to Here To Help, Woman’s Weekly,

161 Marsh Wall, Lon­don E14 9AP Visit

Keren’s site at ex­pe­ri­ence­mat­ters.org.uk.

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