Here to HELP
Let counsellor Keren lighten your load
It’s a great opportunity, so try to make it work
Q I’m 54 and I’ve just been offered promotion at work. I’m thrilled but the downside is I’d need to move to another town 100 miles away. There isn’t a good train route so I’d have to drive and that’s too far every day. My
mother is elderly, unwell and finding it hard to manage. I also have three children in their late teens and early 20s who mainly live with me. If I took up the offer, they’d move to their father’s and I don’t want that. But I know I’ll never get this opportunity again.
Myriam, Northampton A Congratulations! It sounds like a great opportunity. Assuming this isn’t shift work, you’ll have the weekends free when you could be home. It isn’t as though your mother will have no-one around. Your children could cope in an emergency and, if needed, you could always come home. Is it such a bad thing for the children to live at their dad’s in the week? You could also ask your new boss if you could do one day at home a week. If you really want the job, then look at all the ways to make it
work and I’m sure you’ll find a solution.
Explain how you feel
Q My son’s in-laws have invited me for Christmas. I’m widowed and I think they feel they have to ask me as my son and his wife are going there. I don’t like them much and I don’t
want to go. I’m fine on my own. How do
I tell everyone without sounding rude?
Debra, sussex A Why do you think you’d sound rude? I’m sure you’re not planning on telling them you don’t like them! Explain as you have to me that you’re happy on your own and you’d rather do that than be away from home. Perhaps you could suggest meeting up on an ordinary day for a meal where you could spend a couple of hours with them without all the trimmings. That way, they won’t feel you don’t want to see them and you’ll reduce the time together to something much more manageable.
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Keren’s site at experiencematters.org.uk.