I’ve caught my partner masturbating during a sex lull. Should I be upset?
Nope. You might be a committed couple, but couples are made up of two people, with two different sets of needs. They’re obviously taking theirs into their own hands. You could see it as a compliment – for all you know, they were thinking of you when the need arose. But what are you doing about your needs during this lull? Do you masturbate (albeit more discreetly)? If you don’t, do you want to start? Or do you want to start doing it together? See this as an open door to a conversation that could take the awkwardness out of the whole thing. The bigger issue is why you’re having this lull. Maybe you’re just not feeling that sexy right now because of work/ workouts/kids/a million other things that can dim your libido. But if your other half is turning you down night after night in favour of the self-service option, it’s time to ask why. As with any topic where egos are involved, it’s important to show some tact. After all, you’re not the one who’s been caught with your pants round your ankles. Oh, and a lock on the bathroom door will save everyone’s blushes next time.