We present both sides of the most controversial wedding topics THIS ISSUE: If your finances improved, would you upgrade your engagement ring?
“As someone who effectively upgraded their engagement ring before it was even bought, I would have no problem with giving myself a little ‘ring-provement’ in the future. Let me explain: my boyfriend borrowed a ring for the proposal, then took me back to the shop to pick a final design. I politely declined any of the options there and sourced myself a bespoke ring from somewhere else for the budget he’d set. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, his patience is part of the reason I’m marrying him. Anyway, back to the main point. This isn’t to say I want to right now, but I don’t know why you wouldn’t upgrade your engagement ring. In what other area of your life wouldn’t you jazz things up a little if you got your paws on some extra pound notes? As my salary has grown over the years, I’ve improved my wardrobe, my house and my holidays – not to mention that ultimate wealth indicator, my packed lunches. There’s no great bible of love out there that rules out upgrading your engagement ring. Just because a ring holds sentimental value, I don’t think it should be reserved for relic status – never to be touched again after the proposal. For me, the value of an engagement ring isn’t in the ring itself – it’s in the sentiment of the proposal. The ring is a nice additional extra to betrothing yourself to the love of your life. At no point do I mean I’d sling my ring over my shoulder given the chance of a bigger, shinier diamond. I’m not mad. However, there are all kinds of ways to upgrade your bling. You can add diamonds, have it reset, or even add a new ring in one of those new-fangled ‘stacked’ situations. Go for it if that’s what would make you happy, and if anyone questions you, tell them you felt it was time to ring the changes!”
“Let me just preface this by saying that my own engagement ring is the most exquisite piece of jewellery anyone could wish for. It’s an extraordinary emerald-cut diamond ring that my husband’s dear grandfather, a talented Hatton Garden jeweller, designed for his beloved wife some 80 years ago. Granted, in my opinion, it’s a phenomenal ring with huge sentimental value. But even if that was not the case, I would never upgrade it. For me, it’s not about the ring, it’s what the ring represents. I could buy a ring for any other finger at any other time, but this is the one that’s an imprint of an irreplaceable moment in our lives. This is the one with the meaning and the symbolism. And it’s the word ‘upgrade’ that I have a particular problem with. It’s harsh, it’s throwaway, and the assumption is that you’re trading up, to improve in some way, to get a bigger, flashier, more beautiful ring. Besides, if you start upgrading, when do you stop? There will always be bigger, there will always be blingier, trends will always change. I have a friend who, some 15 years ago, was given a cubic zirconia engagement ring as it’s all her husband could afford at the time. He told her they could upgrade when they could afford to, but when the time came she had no desire to do so. The stone wasn’t important to her. What was important was that it was the ring he gave her at that point in their life when he knew he wanted to spend forever with her. And even though no one would have known it wasn’t a diamond, she never pretended that it was, and this really made an impression on me. Like everything in life, there will always be a better ‘version’ at some point or another. But nothing replaces sentimental meaning and what that ring represents.”
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“JUST BECAUSE A RING HOLDS SENTIMENTAL VALUE DOESN’T MEAN IT SHOULD BE RESERVED FOR RELIC STATUS” “I WOULD NEVER UPGRADE MY RING... IT’S NOT ABOUT THE RING, IT’S WHAT IT REPRESENTS”