The Mystery of the Phantom Egg Eater
Solving a mystery
Down here in the Pointy End of the country, we have a mysterious affair that would baffle even Agatha Christie herself. Someone has been eating the girls’ eggs, but even I could not seem to fathom out who it was.
Now I don’t mind the girls eating the eggs; I believe the egg is the hen’s property and, if she so wishes, she can eat it. I do however, hate the mess it leaves. So I decided to emulate my literary detective heroes and find the culprit – which was not as easy as it sounds. I was outwitted at every turn. It would seem I had met my chicken nemesis.
My initial feeble Poirot-esque efforts had only managed to deduce that the egg layer was not the egg eater. Milly, her of last column’s Special Place, had decided over the seemingly endless night of the winter months that she would deign to lay her egg in the coop. And Milly is the only one of our eight hens who is actually laying – everybody else is far too busy to bother with such a mundane task. However, no matter how much I tried to catch the criminal in the act, I always opened the nestbox to find a bit of shell and a dribble of goop. Who is the Phantom Egg Eater? Who has the eggiest beak? Who is looking a tad shifty? Who is committing such evil under the Cornish sun?
I do have some prime suspects, five little piggies if you will:
Ingrid Bergman Frizzle: Tiny Ingrid is a bit of a bully and I wouldn’t put it past her to oust Milly the moment the egg is laid. However she is also too much of a lady to dirty her beak with egg.
Hettie Spaghetti: Mother hen extraordinaire, Hettie does love to sit on other hens’ eggs but is far too gentle to commit such a heinous crime. She may, however, be an unwitting dumb witness…
Martha Tils-Hen: The third girl, she has the perfect motive, being egg free after her implant. Sadly she also has the perfect alibi in always being seen out foraging at the time of the crime.
Miffy: It would certainly put the cat among the pigeons if she was the culprit but Miffy and Milly are BFFs; she would never steal from her.
Flora-Jayne: Aha! Now we are getting somewhere. FJ has a past history of egg eating, has maybe found being innocent too much of an ordeal and gone back to her old ways. And, cards on the table, here is where my investigation (and dreadful puns) ground to a halt.
You see, darling Flora is in mourning. Her beloved Miss Lemony has passed away and Flora is lost without her soulmate. So, if surreptitiously eating eggs and outwitting the idiot human helps mend her broken heart, then eat away my darling girl, eat away.
Case closed. Agatha, Hercule and Jane would understand.
ABOVE: Miffy... was it her? BELOW: Martha... surely not her?