Star Chooks

For­get about Bri­tain’s Got Tal­ent. Ja­nine Marsh reck­ons there should be a show just for chick­ens.

Your Chickens - - Contents -

Chick­ens Got Tal­ent

Ihave had what I think might be a ge­nius idea: a Chick­ens Have Tal­ent show. It was in­spired by my flock who re­cently put on a bit of a per­for­mance when I had a vis­i­tor. My friend Guy popped in to see where I live. I wel­comed him into my lit­tle farm­house in the mid­dle of nowhere, ru­ral France, and made him a cup of tea in the kitchen. Then we sat down to have a chat.

My kitchen over­looks the gar­den and at the bot­tom of it are the bird pens with my four geese, 32 ducks and 24 chick­ens.

Out of the cor­ner of my eye I spot­ted Ken the cock­erel un­der the gazebo, his BFF Bar­bie was fol­low­ing him about as usual. Ken and Bar­bie are es­cape artists and go where they like.

“He seems pretty tame,” said Guy. He’d read some of my sto­ries of ‘psy­cho Ken’ in pre­vi­ous Your Chick­ens is­sues.

“He hasn’t seen you yet,” I said. And, right on cue Ken, looked up. “Now he’s seen you,” I said. Ken straight­ened up, thrust his chest out and man­aged to look in­dig­nant that a stranger had come into ‘his’ ter­ri­tory.

“He’s go­ing to run down the gar­den and throw him­self at the door, stare at you and then sing a song,” I said. Guy looked at me scep­ti­cally.

Next minute, Ken ran down

the gar­den, threw him­self at the door, stared hard at Guy and burst into song. He has a very loud crow with a lit­tle sigh at the end, he sounds like Min­nie Rip­per­ton singing Lov­ing You.

Guy and I both laughed. That drove Ken mad. He crowed even louder, jumped up and down, flapped his wings, knocked things over and was clearly in a tem­per.

Mean­while Bar­bie ran around the ter­race chas­ing the cats who ran off down the gar­den. The geese started honk­ing wildly at the sight of the furry an­i­mals they don’t like. Kendo Na­gasaki, a colour­ful and ex­citable ban­tam cock­erel, jumped up in a tree and was swinging wildly like a trapeze chicken. He was screech­ing at the top of his voice – it sounded like he was egging Ken on. Rambo the duck de­cided to climb the fence and sit and watch the fun which made all the ducks quack and it sounded just like they were laugh­ing. Gre­gory Peck rounded up his favourite bird, Bessie the bossy Cream Leg­bar, and all the other girls and herded them off to an­other part of the pen where they sat around squawk­ing and cluck­ing at the shenani­gans go­ing on.

And that’s when I got my ge­nius idea for Chick­ens Have Tal­ent… I reckon I’m on a win­ner there!

He’s go­ing to run down the gar­den and throw him­self at the door, stare at you and then sing a song

ABOVE: Can your chicken put on a funny cos­tume and dance?

BE­LOW: Ja­nine with her chick­ens

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