I spotted it the moment that I entered. In a corner, half-concealed by a settee, It was just what I was looking for; I knew it was definitely for me. It was the first time I’d been to an auction And wasn’t quite sure what to do. So sat quietly watching proceedings, Waiting for lot a hundred and twenty-two. As lots went by, my nerves began to tingle. Any minute now the vital time would come. Could I compete with seasoned dealers Who bid with a nod or flick of a thumb? “Next lot, one two two – who will start me?” (Don’t rush in too early seemed to be the knack.) “Thank you, Madam, sixty I have, sixty-five And seventy, seventy-five, there at the back.” Trembling with excitement, poised ready to bid “Eighty seated, eighty-five – are we all done?” I swallowed – I froze – my arm refused to move And my bargain was going, going, GONE!