THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Hillary Clinton in the debate Wednesday blurted out the topsecret time it takes for the military to respond to a president’s order for nuclear attack, then Trump wouldn’t promise to recognize the results of the votes. How scary is this election? Mexico just agreed to build a wall, no matter who wins.

Donald Trump said he might not accept the results of the November election. No one knew you could do that. If that’s the case, I refuse to accept the results of the Oklahoma-Ohio State and the Oklahoma-Houston games and look forward to an undefeated season.

The Wall Street Journal forecasts tightening polls during the last two weeks of the presidential campaign. U.S. voter interest appears to be peaking at the right time. Cable TV news ratings could hit an all-time high on Election Day, unless, of course, they find out who robbed Kim Kardashian.

The World Health Organization announced that the lack of ability to attract a sex partner is a handicap. This is ominous. If you give today’s Americans a choice between sex and a parking spot at the grocery store close to the door, the species could be extinct in 40 years.