Boss seems jealous of well-off employee’s home

DEAR J.T. & DALE: I recently held a party at my house, and invited my boss and co-workers. My boss was really surprised to see my home; my husband and I have done very well financially. Since the party, my boss has been making comments about my wealth. It’s almost as if she is jealous of me. She keeps making comments about the fact that I don’t need to work. I love my job and now I’m worried that it might be in jeopardy. What should I do? — Dana

Dale: Your question brings up an important topic, that of your employment persona. This is something more than how well you do your work or how you get along; persona is about your perceived character. When co-workers come to your home, they are likely to get a new picture of you, and that does affect your career. In your case, your manager might feel that you don’t really need a raise or wouldn’t be hurt by layoffs. However, there’s also an upside to being seen as well-off: You might also be viewed as someone who could more readily quit if given unpleasant duties or — and here’s the irony — someone who could leave if passed over for a raise or promotion. And you might be seen as someone who could handle the social aspect of higher-lever positions.

J.T.: As for the immediate case, I definitely would set up a meeting with your boss. Let her know how much you love your work and that you are concerned that she might mistakenly believe you’re not committed to the job due to your financial status. Specifically, you should highlight the comments she has made since the party and tell her that, while you know she is joking, you hope she understands how much you care about this job and company. This will help her realize that she is making you uncomfortable. She is likely jealous, but that is her problem. You shouldn’t have to endure comments put out in front of your co-workers. That being said, if you approach the conversation with sincerity and concern, hopefully she will see the error of her ways.

Dale: Yes, although there will be a danger of seeming defensive and making the situation worse. So I hope you’ll keep it light while emphasizing that you very much need to work. Perhaps you could offer your boss the social reassurance that you understand your status. You’d do this by asking where you could improve and how you could increase your contribution to the team. Let her know you’re looking up to her.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I recently took two weeks of sick time to have some plastic surgery done. When I came back to the office, management had obviously noticed the change. The next day, HR came to me and told me that they would not count the time off as sick time and were taking it from my vacation time instead. Are they allowed to do this? — Elizabeth

J.T.: The short answer is yes. Sick time and vacation time are benefits offered by the employer, and management gets to set the rules. My guess is that your policy manual indicates that you would need a doctor’s note to prove you were truly sick. While elective surgery normally is defined as vacation time, employers reserve sick time for when workers are hit by something that affects performance or is contagious and they’d rather you stay home than infect the rest of the office. That was not the case here and that is why they are converting it to vacation time.

Dale: But even in that brief discussion, you can see the inevitable debates taking shape, starting with: What is elective? If you have, say, cataracts, is that surgery elective? Sure, you could put it off, but eventually you’ll need to have surgery. Does that mean HR needs to write a rule book for sick leave? This is another example of why we need to have “personal time” replace sick days and vacation days. Let employees decide which is which, and let HR get back to the important work of talent management.