Albuquerque Journal

THE LIGHTER SIDE

-

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

President Trump flew to Brussels on Tuesday to demand that EU countries honor the fiscal pledges they made to NATO. The EU’s hesitation is puzzling. Considerin­g all the times Trump has been called Hitler, you’d think that when he tells Europeans to spend more money on defense, they’d listen.

Sen. Rand Paul complained that the government spent taxpayer dollars to research the effects of cocaine on quail. That explains why quail make their nests out of straws. The research found that no matter how much cocaine they gave the quail, he still couldn’t spell “potato.”

The Pittsburgh Post Gazette said a drunk couple were arrested by police for shooting at fireflies in the backyard. They said they thought the fireflies were laser beams coming from an alien ship. The couple were convicted and sentenced to eight months in Trump’s Space Force.

Theresa May’s government began fleeing her over her foot-dragging on Brexit, which she had opposed anyway. No one may be left to sign a trade deal with Trump. Rescuers from Thailand are on their way to 10 Downing Street to help May get out of a massive hole.

Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups around the country. Email him at Argus@ArgusHamil­ton.com.

 ??  ?? ARGUS HAMILTON
ARGUS HAMILTON

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United States