Battle of backs take focus
With Zeke still on the field, Jerry’s legal team earning votes for MVP.
The second half of the NFL season is just underway and the storylines are too numerous to mention in one take.
So let’s have a little fun. OK, NFL diehards. Take a swing at this a quick multiple-choice pop quiz as we enter the money part of the season.
Be advised, this is far more difficult than the English tests Ms. Putzer gave me at T.K. Gorman back in the day, so proceed at your own risk. And no peeking at your neighbor’s answers. Here we go. 1. Dallas RB Ezekiel Elliott will suit up Sunday against Kansas City after he was granted a request for an administrative stay by the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. What’s Jerry Jones’ next step?
a) Double up on his legal team for the next tussle.
b) Inform coach Jason Garrett to keep Darren McFadden and Alfred Morris ready, just in case.
c) Build a federal court annex outside Cowboys Stadium.
2. The Cleveland Browns just botched a trade for Cincinnati backup quarterback AJ McCarron. Their fans should:
a) Forgive their beloved Browns and chalk it up as an innocent mistake.
b) Pray that the organization drafts Sam Darnold or Josh Rosen next spring. c) Go try out for the team. 3. Houston Texans rookie RB
D’Onta Foreman took some ribbing for his colorful paisley jacket over the weekend. He should:
a) Shrug off the haters and add to his Prince starter kit.
b) Ditch those red leather pants for black.
c) Issue a public apology to the sofa he butchered.
4. Less than 24 hours after the Houston Astros won the World Series, Texans QB Deshaun Watson suffered a season-ending knee injury at practice. Texans owner Bob McNair should:
a) Put all his confidence in Tom Savage. b) Call Tony Romo. c) Sign Colin Kaepernick and appoint him assistant warden.
5. New England traded backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo to San Francisco for a second-round draft pick and signed Brian Hoyer to back up 41-year-old Tom Brady. What’s the organization’s next move?
a) Draft a quarterback in the offseason.
b) Keep Brady fresh by giving him practices off.
c) Trade the Browns Steve Grogan for the top pick. (They may go for it).
6. Miami traded running back Jay Ajayi to the Philadelphia Eagles for a fourthround draft pick. What happens next?
a) The Dolphins’ fall apart and finish 5-11.
b) The Eagles proclaim him the missing piece and roll to a Super Bowl berth.
c) Miami wins the Super Bowl (circle C if you’re stupid).
7. USC quarterback Sam Darnold may return to college for another year if certain teams (namely Cleveland) have the first pick of the 2018 NFL draft. What happens?
a) He leaves college and enters the draft.
b) He returns to school and wins the 2018 Heisman.
c) Indianapolis gets the top pick and trades it to the Patriots, who draft an offensive tackle one day after Tom Brady announces he’s a 900-year-old day-walking vampire.
8. Which prediction will come true?
a) Belichick and Brady will retire after the Patriots win a sixth Super Bowl in February.
b) Texas ex Derrick Johnson will retire after winning a Super Bowl with Kansas City.
c) Cleveland WR Josh Gordon will one day be conditionally reinstated to the CFL.
9. Pizza magnate “Papa John” Schnatter is blaming NFL player protests for a dip in sales. What should he do?
a) Come up with a new marketing campaign with Peyton Manning.
b) Admit his assertion is nonsense.
c) Go deliver for Domino’s.
10. Pittsburgh coach Mike Tomlin deactivated wideout Martavis Bryant last week after he made critical social media comments about his role in the offense. What happens now?
a) Bryant apologizes to his teammates and gets back to work.
b) Tomlin shuts him down for the rest of the season.
c) He’s released after admitting he stole JuJu Smith-Schuster’s bike.
11. Who will win the come- back player of the year?
a) Arizona RB Adrian Peterson after he runs for 1,100 yards over the next eight games.
b) San Diego WR Keenan Allen, who will catch 100 passes after early injuries cut his last two seasons short.
c) Ezekiel Elliot. He keeps coming back every week, right? 12. Name the league MVP? a) Philadelphia QB Carson Wentz
b) Pittsburgh RB Le’Veon Bell c) Jerry’s lawyers 13. Most entertaining game-day pairing?
a) Joe Buck and Troy Aikman
b) Jim Nantz and Tony Romo
c) Cowboys radio team Brad Sham and Babe Laufenberg (with the TV muted) 14. Funniest headline? a) The 49ers aren’t tanking b) O.J. didn’t do it c) Texans sign Matt McGloin and T.J. Yates
Ezekiel Elliott (21) will play Sunday after a federal appeals court gave the Cowboys’ star running back a favorable ruling late in the week. It blocked a lower-court order that required Elliott to immediately begin serving the NFL’s six-game suspension.