Hus­band shared sex videos with friends

Austin American-Statesman - - AUSTIN360BETS - DEAR ABBY Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby ap­pears on Sun­day, Mon­day, Wed­nes­day and Fri­day. E-mail Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com.

Dear Abby: “Aaron” and I have been mar­ried five years, and I have al­ways tried to keep our sex life “spicy.” Let­ting him take pri­vate X-rated pho­tos and videos of me seemed fun at the time.

I re­cently learned that my “pri­vate” pho­tos and videos have been on the In­ter­net and shared with Aaron’s bud­dies, co-work­ers and friends. I am shocked, em­bar­rassed and hurt. When I con­fronted him, he said, “You’re beau­ti­ful, and I en­joy shar­ing you with other guys!” I was dumb­founded at his re­sponse. I have tried talk­ing to him, and he just doesn’t see my ob­jec­tions.

Ev­ery time I see one of our friends, I won­der if Aaron has shared my “beauty” with him. I’m too em­bar­rassed to talk to my min­is­ter about this. I have lost my trust in my hus­band and don’t know what I should do now.

— X-posed in Illi­nois

Dear X-posed: What your hus­band has done is the equiv­a­lent of invit­ing his bud­dies, co-work­ers, friends, etc. into your bed­room dur­ing your most in­ti­mate mo­ments. Your trust was vi­o­lated and your feel­ings are un­der­stand­able. That he would dis­re­gard your feel­ings in the mat­ter is, frankly, shock­ing.

What you should do now is con­tact a li­censed mar­riage coun­selor to fig­ure out if, with pro­fes­sional help, you can help your im­ma­ture and in­sen­si­tive hus­band re­or­ga­nize his pri­or­i­ties.

Dear Abby: My sis­ter is show­ing signs of Alzheimer’s, but she is in de­nial and re­fuses to face the is­sue. I would like to get her med­i­cal help.

Our mother had the dis­ease and my sis­ter is prob­a­bly scared. Any ad­vice?

— Big Brother in Florida

Dear Big Brother: If your sis­ter is with­out a spouse or chil­dren, her doc­tor should be no­ti­fied about your con­cerns. You also need to talk to her, to en­sure that she has an ad­vance di­rec­tive for health care and pow­ers of at­tor­ney in place in the event that she “might” be­come un­able to make de­ci­sions for her­self.

While the thought of pre­par­ing these doc­u­ments can be scary, not hav­ing them is far scarier should any in­ca­pac­i­tat­ing health-care cri­sis arise. This needs to be done while your sis­ter still has the ca­pac­ity to make ra­tio­nal de­ci­sions.

The Alzheimer’s As­so­ci­a­tion can be a valu­able re­source in a sit­u­a­tion like this, so please don’t hes­i­tate to con­tact it. The toll-free, 24-hour helpline is 800-272-3900. The web­site is www.alz.org.

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