He fears girl­friend’s old friend isn’t just friend

Austin American-Statesman - - TVTONIGHT - Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Dear Abby ap­pears on Sun­day, Mon­day, Wed­nes­day and Fri­day. E-mail Dear Abby at www. DearAbby.com.

Dear Abby: My girl­friend, “Donna,” and I have shared a won­der­ful re­la­tion­ship for nearly three years. Dur­ing her col­lege days she had a sex­ual en­counter with her best fe­male friend. (They had been friends since high school.)

Al­though they grad­u­ated from col­lege five years ago, they con­tinue to see each other. Donna tells me that noth­ing sex­ual goes on be­tween them. Per­son­ally, I don’t trust her friend. Please help me get over this.

— Tony in Whit­tier

Dear Tony: For­get about not trust­ing Donna’s long­time friend. Do you trust Donna? You have been to­gether nearly three years and ob­vi­ously, you talk about ev­ery­thing. Ask her if, af­ter ex­per­i­ment­ing with her friend, she still has han­ker­ings in that di­rec­tion. If the an­swer is no, be­lieve her.

Dear Abby: I have been in a re­la­tion­ship with a lady for the past few months. How do I tell her that I want out with­out hurt­ing her badly?

I have tried a cou­ple of times to end things, but she gets hys­ter­i­cal, starts cry­ing and ac­cuses me of want­ing some­one else, which is not true. Please give me some ad­vice.

— In a Fix, Pascagoula, Miss.

Dear in a Fix: If you want out, pre­pare your­self for her emo­tional re­ac­tion. As you can see, she does not take this kind of news well. Tell her again that you want to end the re­la­tion­ship. When she starts cry­ing and ac­cus­ing you of want­ing some­one else, hand her a tis­sue and tell her you think she’s “great,” but you’re not ready to set­tle down with any­one right now.

Dear Abby: My hus­band doesn’t like to go to fu­ner­als. In the 25 years we have been to­gether, I think he has only been to three — and that was only be­cause he had been asked to be a pall­bearer. For­tu­nately, we haven’t had to deal with many losses on ei­ther side of the fam­ily.

We were talk­ing re­cently and he shared that he would not go to his own mother’s fu­neral! They have a very close re­la­tion­ship, and he ex­plained that he only wants to re­mem­ber her in life, not in a cof­fin. I feel he should set aside his own un­com­fort­able feel­ings and be there for the rest of the fam­ily — es­pe­cially his broth­ers and sis­ters. What do you think?

— Pam in Spring­field, Ohio

Dear Pam: Your hus­band’s feel­ings may change when the in­evitable hap­pens. How­ever, what­ever he de­cides — and I can­not stress this strongly enough — you should back him up, be there for him and not judge him.

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