Austin American-Statesman - - AUSTIN360BETS -

Dear Just Won­der­ing: “The wives” ob­vi­ously iden­tify with Glo­ria and feel that John’s not wear­ing sack­cloth and ashes for at least a year af­ter her death is dis­re­spect­ful to her me­mory. That’s what they would ex­pect from you. They would also pre­fer that you not date any of the avail­able women in your cir­cle. They were stat­ing their feel­ings. So con­sider your­selves put on no­tice!

From my per­spec­tive, it seems your wives feel nei­ther John nor Peggy has grieved long enough, and so they are pun­ish­ing them. It is pos­si­ble, how­ever, that Glo­ria told John she didn’t want him to be alone and grieve af­ter she was gone, which is why he is be­ing com­forted by some­one who knew them both. I’d ad­vise your wives to give them the ben­e­fit of the doubt in­stead of shun­ning them.

I re­cently had a child and would like to join a church for the com­mu­nity, moral mes­sages and the mu­sic. I grew up go­ing to one and got a lot out of it.

How­ever, ex­plo­ration through­out my 20s made me re­al­ize that I didn’t be­lieve what was be­ing taught. I tried hard to ac­cept the doc­trines, but truth­fully, I doubt I ever will. Would it be dis­hon­est to start at­tend­ing again?

Dear New Mom: Many peo­ple con­sider them­selves to be more “spir­i­tual” than “re­li­gious.” And I’m will­ing to bet that in many con­gre­ga­tions there is a range in the in­ten­sity of be­lief among the at­ten­dees.

I en­cour­age you to se­lect a de­nom­i­na­tion with which you feel most com­fort­able. Some — like the Uni­tar­ian Univer­sal­ist faith ( — have no dogma or creed and sup­port their mem­bers in fol­low­ing their own spir­i­tual paths.

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