Woman’s free baby-sit­ting is her choice, not fi­ance’s

Austin American-Statesman - - AUSTIN 360 LIFE - Jeanne Phillips Dear Abby

Dear Abby: Iama stay-at-home mom with three chil­dren. Re­cently, another mom asked me to care for her 3-year-old daugh­ter while she went to work. She of­fered to pay me, but I de­clined, given her cir­cum­stances, be­cause I con­sider her a friend, even though I have known her for only a short time.

My fi­ance is now mad at me for not charg­ing her. How can I make him see that it is not a prob­lem for me since I am stuck at home any­way? It’s not like I am los­ing money by do­ing her a fa­vor. — Stuck at Home in Colorado

Dear Stuck: That it’s not a prob­lem for you isn’t the point. It’s a prob­lem for your fi­ance. He may not want the fam­ily’s hard­earned money go­ing to­ward feed­ing some­one else’s child. But ul­ti­mately, the de­ci­sion about whether to do this fa­vor for your friend should be yours, and not his. Dear Abby: My wife and I re­cently moved, tak­ing jobs that are closer to our son and daugh­ter-in-law. They have no chil­dren but want to start a fam­ily, and we are pray­ing for our first grand­child.

When they take busi­ness trips (which is of­ten), I take care of their cats and dogs. A few days ago, while I was in their bed­room (where the cats are kept), I saw an anatom­i­cally cor­rect sex toy that had been left on the bed stand. I’m no prude, but should I say some­thing to my son? We have an ex­cel­lent re­la­tion­ship. I’m con­cerned that he may need some fa­therly ad­vice if they are hav­ing con­cep­tion prob­lems. What do you think? — Con­cerned in Wash­ing­ton

Dear Con­cerned: In the in­ter­est of fam­ily har­mony, keep your ad­vice to your­self un­less you are asked. If they are hav­ing “con­cep­tion prob­lems,” rest as­sured they will find their way to a fer­til­ity ex­pert with­out your as­sis­tance.

Dear Abby: My 24-yearold son got mar­ried in Au­gust 2016. His wife is very nice and we get along fine. He’s my youngest child and we are very close.

My is­sue is, she re­fuses to put their wed­ding pic­ture in the news­pa­per. She said it’s not nec­es­sary, and the peo­ple most im­por­tant know they are al­ready mar­ried. I want to keep it as a re­mem­brance just like my daugh­ter had hers in years ago. My son is agree­ing with her. Please help. — News­pa­per Wed­ding Photo

Dear News­pa­per: It’s seven months too late for your son and daugh­ter-in­law’s wed­ding pic­ture to ap­pear in the pa­per. At this point it’s “old news.” It would be bet­ter to rec­on­cile your dis­ap­point­ment at not hav­ing the me­mento, be­cause he and his wife are uni­fied on this and the bat­tle is al­ready lost.

For every­thing you need to know about wed­ding plan­ning, or­der “How to Have a Lovely Wed­ding.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wed­ding Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

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