Work wis­dom

Chattanooga Times Free Press - ChattanoogaNow - - PUNCHLINES -

› No man goes be­fore his time — un­less the boss leaves early. — Grou­cho Marx › A con­sul­tant is a man who knows 157 ways to make love, but doesn’t know any women. — Anony­mous › Any­one can do any amount of work, pro­vided it isn’t the work he’s sup­posed to be do­ing at that mo­ment. — Robert Bench­ley › It is bet­ter to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all. — James Thurber › It’s true that hard work never killed any­body, but I fig­ure, why take the chance? — Ron­ald Rea­gan › Per­son­ally, I have noth­ing against work, par­tic­u­larly when per­formed, qui­etly and un­ob­tru­sively, by some­one else. — Bar­bara Ehren­re­ich › Be­ing a couch potato is not the same as be­ing a fail­ure. Be­ing a fail­ure im­plies that you were ac­tu­ally try­ing to do some­thing. — Anony­mous › Wheaties: the break­fast of cham­pi­ons and the din­ner of the un­em­ployed. — Ru­mi­na­ › I like work; it fas­ci­nates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. — Jerome K. Jerome › The best way to ap­pre­ci­ate your job is to imag­ine your­self with­out one. — Os­car Wilde ›

No one’s dream job in­volves a kiosk. — Damien Fa­hey ›

Work is the great­est thing in the world. So we should al­ways save some of it for to­mor­row. — Don Herold ›

One of the symp­toms of an ap­proach­ing ner­vous break­down is the be­lief that one’s work is ter­ri­bly im­por­tant. — Bertrand Rus­sell ›

On ap­pli­ca­tions, where it asks if you’ve ever com­mit­ted a felony, I like to write in, “Is ly­ing on an ap­pli­ca­tion a felony?” — Guy En­dore-Kaiser › La­bor Day is a hol­i­day hon­or­ing those who work for a liv­ing. La­bo­ri­ous Day is a lesser known hol­i­day hon­or­ing those who can­not stop talk­ing about their work. — Lemony Snicket › When a man tells you he got rich through hard work, ask him whose? — Don Mar­quis › I truly be­lieve the wire­less mouse was in­vented so peo­ple at work had one less thing to hang them­selves with. — Mike Vanatta

› I want to share some­thing with you: The three lit­tle sen­tences that will get you through life: Num­ber 1: Cover for me. Num­ber 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Num­ber 3: It was like that when I got here. — Homer Simp­son › I do not like work even when some­one else does it. — Mark Twain Laugh Lines is com­piled from var­i­ous sources, in­clud­ing reader sub­mis­sions and web­sites. Ori­gins are in­cluded when known.

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