Video of dirty jokes al­most ru­ins our new re­la­tion­ship

Chicago Sun-Times - - ENTERTAINM­ENT -

WAS I WRONG TO SEND HER THE VIDEO? AND WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW TO SAVE WHAT I THINK IS THE MOST WON­DER­FUL RE­LA­TION­SHIP I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE?

Dear Abby: A ca­sual friend sent me a video of a comic do­ing a very lewd and vul­gar rou­tine. I was of­fended by it and for­warded it to my girl­friend to find out what she thought about it. She got very up­set and told me I was be­ing dis­re­spect­ful to her by even pass­ing it on to her. I should add that we met on­line and have been talk­ing on the phone with each other for only a month dur­ing this shel­terin-place time.

This in­ci­dent nearly ended our new re­la­tion­ship. Was I wrong to send her the video? And what should I do now to save what I think is the most won­der­ful re­la­tion­ship I have ever had in my life? No Laugh­ing Mat­ter

Dear No Laugh­ing: Be­fore send­ing the video, you should have warned your new girl­friend that it was vul­gar and asked if she wanted to see it, which would have given her the op­por­tu­nity to refuse. What you should do now is apol­o­gize for hav­ing of­fended her and tell her how much you value your re­la­tion­ship with her. Then cross your fin­gers that she still feels the same.

Dear Abby: My wife had some health is­sues over the last four years and gained 40 pounds. She keeps say­ing she wants to lose the weight, but doesn’t do any­thing about it. Her blood pres­sure is high, so she needs to do it. When I try to bring it up, she gets mad and al­ways men­tions the health is­sues. But those is­sues are now to­tally be­hind her. What can I do or say to get her go­ing again? Full of Con­cern in New Jersey

Dear Full: Tell your wife you don’t mean to come across as a nag, but you are wor­ried be­cause of her blood pres­sure is­sue. She is far from the only per­son who pro­cras­ti­nates when faced with chang­ing one’s lifestyle.

Many folks are overindulg­ing now be­cause of the chal­lenge of so­cial iso­la­tion. Some­thing that might ben­e­fit you both would be to en­cour­age her to get out and start walk­ing with you on a reg­u­lar ba­sis. And drop the sub­ject of weight for now. Take it up again once your lives be­gin to nor­mal­ize and she may be less de­fen­sive.

Dear Abby: My col­lege-age daugh­ter, “Dahlia,” re­fuses to take se­ri­ously the so­cial dis­tanc­ing nec­es­sary to con­trol the spread of COVID-19, even though her col­lege, like many oth­ers, has closed. She says it’s all overblown, even though her fa­ther and I are older and she has a preg­nant sis­ter at home.

Dahlia is young, and she thinks she’s in­vin­ci­ble. I think my daugh­ter is self­ish for not car­ing about any­one else. What can I say to her? Fol­low­ing the Rules in West Vir­ginia

Dear Fol­low­ing: Many peo­ple still are hav­ing trou­ble ac­cept­ing the fact that we are all at risk be­cause of an in­vis­i­ble and silent “en­emy,” COVID-19. Be­cause you are un­able to get through to Dahlia, as­sert your­self as the adult in the house­hold and es­tab­lish some rules to pro­tect your­self, your hus­band, your preg­nant daugh­ter and your un­born grand­child. First among them: Dahlia must fol­low the govern­ment guide­lines re­gard­ing so­cial dis­tanc­ing, hand­wash­ing, etc. or find an­other place to live. Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. For an ex­cel­lent guide to be­com­ing a bet­ter con­ver­sa­tion­al­ist and a more so­cia­ble per­son, or­der “How to Be Pop­u­lar.” Send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $8, to: Dear Abby, Pop­u­lar­ity Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. (Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.)

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