28-year-old vir­gin wants his first time to be hers, too

Chicago Sun-Times - - ENTERTAINM­ENT - Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

Dear Abby: I’m a 28-year-old male who is still a vir­gin. I al­ways wanted to be in­ti­mate with a vir­gin fe­male for my first time, but I have never met one. I’ve had op­por­tu­ni­ties for sex but re­frained be­cause she wasn’t a vir­gin. The older I have got­ten, the harder it has be­come to achieve my dream of be­ing some­one’s first and shar­ing this won­der­ful ex­pe­ri­ence to­gether. I doubt there are any vir­gin fe­males my age left.

I know I have missed out on an im­por­tant as­pect of life that so many oth­ers have had. Should I start dat­ing younger women, or let go of my fairy-tale first-time fan­tasy and have sex with just any­body, know­ing I’ll re­gret it? Or should I hold out longer and wait for an­other vir­gin to come into my life? Fairy-Tale Dream

Dear Fairy-Tale Dream: Con­sider push­ing the pause but­ton on your fan­tasy un­til the pan­demic is un­der con­trol, and do noth­ing that you know you’ll re­gret. Be­fore go­ing for­ward, fig­ure out why sex with an­other vir­gin is so im­por­tant to you. Once you have the an­swer to that, con­sider what you have to of­fer a girl like the one you fan­ta­size about. Many vir­gins are sav­ing them­selves for mar­riage. If you are will­ing to wait un­til mar­riage to ful­fill your fan­tasy, you may find what you’re look­ing for. (Or not.)

Dear Abby: I am 55 and re­cently started dat­ing “Paul,” a 54-year-old man. His 26-year-old daugh­ter, “An­drea,” lives with him. My prob­lem is, she in­vites her­self along on our week­end get­aways, small trips, etc. He tells me he knows it’s a prob­lem. An­drea is a col­lege grad­u­ate work­ing for her dad’s com­pany, but she has no out­side in­ter­ests and no so­cial skills and she’s afraid to talk to peo­ple one-on-one. She also doesn’t care about her ap­pear­ance.

Paul doesn’t know what to do. His daugh­ter doesn’t want to live with her mom, and he’s try­ing to get her ac­cli­mated to be­ing her own per­son and in­de­pen­dent. I sug­gested a life coach. He knows he en­ables her to a cer­tain ex­tent. Other than this is­sue, our re­la­tion­ship is won­der­ful. Please help. Three’s a Crowd in the Mid­west

Dear Three’s a Crowd: It should be ob­vi­ous that Paul’s at­tempts to help his daugh­ter not only haven’t worked, but may have con­trib­uted to her prob­lem. She needs pro­fes­sional help for her se­vere so­cial anx­i­ety. Start with her physi­cian. Her doc­tor or in­sur­ance com­pany can re­fer her to some­one qual­i­fied. Her fa­ther should in­sist upon this, rather than con­tinue to en­able her.

Dear Abby: I was cheated on by my ex-hus­band. Since our di­vorce, I am in­ter­ested only in mar­ried men. I have been to ther­apy, but I can’t seem to shake it. I hit on mar­ried men be­cause I don’t be­lieve all men are faith­ful. Is this un­healthy, and what can I do about it? Not Right in the North

Dear Not Right: What you’re do­ing is def­i­nitely un­healthy! You didn’t men­tion how long ago your di­vorce hap­pened, but hit­ting on mar­ried men may be your way of en­sur­ing that you won’t be­come so deeply in­volved your heart is bro­ken again. Per­haps you will be less in­clined to con­tinue these li­aisons if, be­fore start­ing an­other one, you take a mo­ment to con­sider their ef­fect on the wives and chil­dren in­volved.

And since your first ther­a­pist was un­able to help you, con­tact an­other one.

THE OLDER I HAVE GOT­TEN, THE HARDER IT HAS BE­COME TO ACHIEVE MY DREAM OF BE­ING SOME­ONE’S FIRST AND SHAR­ING THIS WON­DER­FUL EX­PE­RI­ENCE TO­GETHER.

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