Rude best friend keeps cut­ting down my happy love life

Chicago Sun-Times - - ENTERTAINM­ENT - DEAR ABBY AD­VICE

Dear Abby: I have been lucky enough to have fallen madly in love with the most won­der­ful man in the world. We have been to­gether for two years and liv­ing to­gether for al­most a year. I’m in my mid-30s; he’s in his mid-40s. We both have had plenty of ex­pe­ri­ence in love — enough to feel sure that we’ve found the per­son we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

My best friend has been very dis­parag­ing of our re­la­tion­ship and makes rude com­ments about it. If I tell her how happy we are in spite of the pan­demic, she says it’s be­cause we’re still in the “hon­ey­moon phase.” If I de­scribe some­thing kind that my boyfriend has done for me, she adopts a con­de­scend­ing tone and makes re­marks about “new love” and that I should en­joy this now be­cause it will change.

She’s the same age I am and has been with her fiance for nine years. I have al­ways been very sup­port­ive of their re­la­tion­ship, but she seems in­ca­pable of of­fer­ing me the same level of sup­port in my love life. When I try to talk to her about some­thing she has said or done that both­ers me, she of­ten be­comes ag­gres­sive, and I don’t know how to ap­proach this sub­ject with­out get­ting into an ar­gu­ment or los­ing our friend­ship. What should I do? Proudly Lucky in Love

Dear Proudly Lucky: Could your friend be suf­fer­ing from a touch of jeal­ousy be­cause you con­stantly ex­tol your boyfriend’s virtues? Her cyn­i­cism may have some­thing to do with the fact that she and her fiance have been to­gether for nine years with no mar­riage in sight.

If you can’t talk to her about sen­si­tive is­sues with­out her be­com­ing ag­gres­sive or you be­ing afraid of los­ing the friend­ship, it doesn’t take a crys­tal ball to see the two of you are grow­ing in­creas­ingly dis­tant with the pas­sage of time. I do think you should ask your friend why she re­acts the way she does and tell her how it makes you feel. It may be the only way to save your friend­ship.

Dear Abby: At what age is it no longer ap­pro­pri­ate for chil­dren to play naked while out­side in their yard?

We are a child­less cou­ple in our 60s who live in a sub­ur­ban neigh­bor­hood in the North­east. A new cou­ple moved here with their chil­dren, a boy and a girl, who ap­pear to be about 5 and 8 years old. Both of them of­ten are naked while play­ing in their yard.

This hap­pens in all kinds of weather, not just when it’s ex­tremely hot.

We all have fairly large yards, but none of the yards in the neigh­bor­hood is pri­vate. Neigh­bors on both sides of this fam­ily and any­one walk­ing up or down the street can see the chil­dren. We are not prudes, but this hap­pens fre­quently, and it makes us un­com­fort­able. Is it time for us to move? Avert­ing My Eyes

Dear Avert­ing: Five- and 8-year-old mi­nors are too old to be naked in pub­lic. Pay a visit to your new neigh­bors’ house and in­tro­duce your­self. Ask why the kids play out­side with no clothes on. Gauge what you learn, and if you sus­pect ne­glect or abuse, re­port it to Child Pro­tec­tive Ser­vices. Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. To or­der “How to Write Let­ters for All Oc­ca­sions,” send your name and mail­ing ad­dress, plus check or money or­der for $8, to: Dear Abby — Letter Book­let, P.O. Box 447, Mount Mor­ris, IL 61054-0447. Ship­ping and han­dling are in­cluded in the price.

IF I DE­SCRIBE SOME­THING KIND THAT MY BOYFRIEND HAS DONE FOR ME, SHE ADOPTS A CON­DE­SCEND­ING TONE AND MAKES RE­MARKS ABOUT “NEW LOVE” AND THAT I SHOULD EN­JOY THIS NOW BE­CAUSE IT WILL CHANGE.

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