The de­mon within

Daily Freeman (Kingston, NY) - - YOUR DAILY BREAK - An­nie Lane Edited by Rich Nor­ris and Joyce Ni­chols Lewis By Tim­o­thy L. Meaker ©2016 Tri­bune Con­tent Agency, LLC

My wife and I have been mar­ried for 12 years, and I ab­so­lutely love her and the kids. But at fam­ily events, she tends to get re­ally drunk and mean. Usu­ally, I end up tak­ing the lumps of her ag­gres­sion, but some­times it’s some­one else. I feel guilty when that hap­pens, be­cause I’m just happy that it isn’t me.

Her fam­ily has a lot of is­sues, as does mine, and when we get to­gether for events, she gets loud, ob­nox­ious and down­right ugly to whichever poor soul rubs her the wrong way first. She wakes up with a hang­over, apol­o­gizes when she has to and pre­tends as if it never hap­pened.

One ex­am­ple: Last week­end, her sis­ter was in town (she’s a com­plete mess, but it’s way too long of a story to ex­plain), and my wife went to visit her at their par­ents’ house. I stayed home be­cause of work. She and her sis­ter got into a fight that turned phys­i­cal. She called me cry­ing around mid­night. I tried to talk her down, but it turned into her scream­ing at me over the phone.

My wife is the type who does not take kindly to sugges­tions, es­pe­cially when she’s in­tox­i­cated. A sim­ple “maybe it’s time to go to bed” will in­evitably un­leash a vi­cious mon­ster that will scratch, tear and scream its way through any­thing that gets in its path.

How can I give her a “last call” when I see that some­thing is about to hap­pen? — Con­cerned


That vi­cious mon­ster you’re deal­ing with is al­co­holism.

Your wife needs to stop drink­ing. You should try talk­ing to her about that when she’s sober. But al­co­holism is a dis­ease that sus­tains it­self through the mech­a­nism of de­nial, and you should know that her path to re­cov­ery may be a long one. In truth, it may be never-end­ing.

Liv­ing with an al­co­holic can leave you feel­ing des­per­ate and frus­trated to tears — and also pro­foundly lonely be­cause you feel as if you have no one to talk to about it. I en­cour­age you to con­sider at­tend­ing a lo­cal Al-Anon Fam­ily Groups meet­ing. The meet­ings are free and anony­mous, and they’re open to any­one who is both­ered by a loved one’s drink­ing — so even if you don’t con­sider your wife an al­co­holic, they’re still for you. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you all the best.

I live in an apart­ment com­plex, and my up­stairs neigh­bors re­cently had a baby. I swear that she is the loud­est baby I’ve ever heard. I’m los­ing my mind from the lack of sleep. Why can’t they keep her con­tent? And why would any­one with a new­born live in an apart­ment com­plex any­way? Should I talk to them?

— New­born In­som­niac

Sounds as if some­body needed to cry it out — and I don’t mean the baby up­stairs. Your crank­i­ness is un­der­stand­able, but I’m not sure what ex­actly you plan on say­ing to the par­ents: “Ex­cuse me. Could you please ask your 3-month-old to try to keep it down? I’ve got a big pre­sen­ta­tion to­mor­row. I’m sure she un­der­stands.”

The fact is that these new par­ents are very aware of how loud their baby is. They have fron­trow seats to that opera. No doubt they feel bad about keep­ing up their neigh­bors, but there’s not much they can do.

What you can do, how­ever, is in­vest in some tools to block out as much sound as pos­si­ble. In­vest in high-qual­ity noise-can­cel­ing head­phones, a white-noise ma­chine or both. You might even con­sider talk­ing to your land­lord about op­tions for in­stalling sound­proof­ing ma­te­rial on your ceil­ing.

Above all, try to be as em­pa­thetic as pos­si­ble. Re­mem­ber, you were once a baby, too.

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­nie@cre­


1 Gain ex­pe­ri­ence

(from) 6 Leg mus­cle 10 World Golf Hall of

Famer Kar­rie 14 First host of “The

Tonight Show” 15 Like some his­tory 16 Orig­i­nal thought 17 Old-time ban­dits 20 “The Time

Ma­chine” race 21 Goes out 22 First ex­tra in­ning 23 Dal­las Mav­er­icks

org. 25 Old Mideast

al­liance: Abbr. 26 Narc’s quarry 32 Nova Sco­tia hrs. 35 City SW of St.

Au­gus­tine 36 Young boys 37 Place for a

pedi­cure 38 Spe­cial forces

mis­sion 42 Bi- halved 43 Cam­bo­dian cash 44 Po­lar ex­plorer 45 But­ter-on-hot­grid­dle sound 46 Anony­mous

hol­i­day gift giver 48 Bowl-shaped

cook­ware 49 __ in: sur­round 50 Delta ri­val, as it

was once known 53 Tosca’s “Vissi

d’arte,” e.g. 56 Magic charm 60 Air mar­shal’s

pos­ses­sion 63 “The Mod Squad”

role 64 Au­to­ma­tion pre­fix 65 Su­per­man’s

makeup? 66 __ code 67 Mess of­fer­ing 68 Brits’ boob tube


1 Pa­thetic, as an

ex­cuse 2 Air­line to

Jerusalem 3 In ad­di­tion 4 Put the spark back into, as a re­la­tion­ship 5 Salem-toPort­land dir. 6 It may help with a

mop 7 Many a Syr­ian 8 Me­tal­lica

drum­mer Ul­rich 9 St. with a

pan­han­dle 10 Three-lane,

vis-à-vis two-lane 11 “I Dream of

Jean­nie” star 12 Buddy of Ker­mit 13 Big party 18 Leader with a

.edu ad­dress 19 Bee­hive State 24 An­i­mal sym­bol­iz­ing the 25-Down 25 World power

inits. un­til ’91 26 Mag­i­cal start 27 Tap­pable

cell­phone images 28 “Miles Smiles”

trum­peter 29 Poker-faced 30 Come to a point 31 Fred’s danc­ing

sis­ter 32 Chi­nese or

Ja­panese 33 Hurl­ing or curl­ing 34 Tucker of coun­try 39 Tax­ing trip 40 Semi­cir­cu­lar

church sec­tion 41 One who might

go to bat for you? 46 Achy 47 Jan­uary warm

spell 48 Mod­ern witch’s

re­li­gion 50 Home of the NCAA’s Bru­ins

E R O xworded­i­ 51 Evening in

Que­bec 52 Klein of fash­ion 53 Lo­tion ad­di­tive 54 Singer McEn­tire 55 Star adored by

many 57 Au­to­bahn auto 58 “Piano Man” man 59 __ child 61 Branch 62 Ap­prox. re­pair


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