Daily Freeman (Kingston, NY) - - LIFE - Edited by Rich Nor­ris and Joyce Ni­chols Lewis


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Suf­fered a set­back 9 Shared spirit 14 Bit by bit 20 Swimwear

op­tion 21 “High wav­ing heather __ stormy blasts bend­ing”: Emily Brontë 22 Tie up 23 Break­fast or­der 25 Writ word 26 NFL line­man­turned-ac­tor Alex Pow­der first mar­keted as Hud­son’s Soap Burned in a thuri­ble Span­ish liqueur Rolled __ Garage event Di­rected Abbr. for old dates Fruity pas­try shop pur­chase Twist­edly funny “Ab­so­lutely!” __ bread Still-life subject Tabasco, por ejem­plo Il­lu­sions in an act Fop­pish neck­wear 51 Unite 55 Yokels 58 Drag, e.g. 61 Delete 62 What X may

mean 63 Pity-evok­ing qual­ity Bird: Pref. Ber­nadette et al.: Abbr. Tam­many Hall Tiger artist U.K. coun­try Kugel in­gre­di­ent Mid­dle of Christ­mas? Spa fea­ture Part of Q.E.D. First name in dance Wed­ding ac­qui­si­tion, per­haps? Work for Court tie Try­panosome trans­mit­ter M, on many forms En­ergy out­put Con­cepts 2001 box­ing biopic Stab 1 Richie’s dad, to the Fonz 99 F1 neigh­bor on

PCs 100 U. of Mary­land player “No prob­lem” San­dra Den­ton, in a hip-hop trio “No prob­lem” Rap­per __ Shakur Kitchen gad­get Louisiana cui­sine 1949 Crosby film set in Ire­land 114 Set 115 Stirred 116 Scolds se­verely News­pa­per ad, com­monly Bal­ti­more’s __ Har­bor Least sea­soned 98 101 102

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111 117 118 119

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“__ baby ... ” Adds value to Most skep­ti­cal 4 5

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28 Mimes Ital­ian coastal city Un­der­stands Friendly front? JFK, e.g. Sign up Many a se­nior They may be tipped “The Simp­sons” bus driver By­ron’s “__ Walks in Beauty” Mount named for a friend of Ge­orge Van­cou­ver Not quite a ringer Wa­ger­ing places: Abbr. Fan of Pat and Vanna, fa­mil­iarly Band heads Jr. and sr. “Sym­phony in Black” artist Stur­geon del­i­cacy 30 31 32 34 36 37

38 39 40 43

45 47 48

50 52 Re­veal in a poem? Tap­room quencher Let­ters in the sand? Easter dec­o­rat­ing sup­ply Opera that pre­miered in Cairo in 1871 Char­ac­ter­ized by Im­pulse Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in­ductee the same year as Clap­ton and Tay­lor Wall re­cess Word from Tonto Big name in sport­ing goods Rap sheet rou­tines: Abbr. Turn gray, maybe Rap (with) Rap’s Dr. __ 53 54 56

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80 82 85 Shock source Te­dium Hawai­ian cof­fee dis­trict U.S. Army E-6 Spell­bound Swear to be true Ones not at home on the range Hym­nal that’s of­ten richly il­lus­trated Rating unit Mas­sachusetts cape On the safer side “Ditto!” Back on the ocean Cham­pagne word “Odds __ ... ” Still-life subject Sooner than Slug­like “Star Wars” alien “Dil­bert” in­tern Heated Face­book fea­ture Me­dusa’s hair, af­ter Athena got done with it Dish re­quir­ing spe­cial uten­sils Ques­tel who voiced Betty Boop Loser Data-up­load­ing let­ters 6-pt. scores Loft filler Salon ap­pli­ance Win­ter warmer Apiece Se­cure, on a farm Por­tend College __ Con­ver­sant with 107 Nose (around) 108 Vi­tal­ian, for one 109 Gaelic tongue 110 See 111-Down 111 With 110Down, East­ern dis­ci­pline Bit of work Fallen space sta­tion 86 87 88

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92 93 95

96 97 102

104 105 106 112 113

Do you know of any eti­quette guide­lines for speak­ing with some­one who has a stut­ter or another speech im­ped­i­ment? I re­cently be­friended a man from the neigh­bor­hood who has a stut­ter. I have a bad habit of fin­ish­ing other peo­ple’s sen­tences in gen­eral, and I find my­self want­ing to jump in and help him com­plete his thought when he pauses. I’m as­sum­ing that is con­sid­ered rude. Dear An­nie — Won­der­ing

The eti­quette for talk­ing to some­one who stut­ters is the same as the eti­quette for talk­ing to some­one who doesn’t. Lis­ten; be pa­tient; make eye con­tact; and ask for clar­i­fi­ca­tion if you missed some­thing. Don’t in­ter­rupt, fin­ish his sen­tences or rush him to get to the point. The only dif­fer­ence is that it’s more im­por­tant to ob­serve that deco­rum when talk­ing to some­one who stut­ters, lest you come off as pa­tron­iz­ing.

I be­lieve that your friend came into your life for a rea­son — to teach you pa­tience and the lost art of hold­ing one’s tongue. Be a good lis­tener to him and you’ll be­come a bet­ter com­mu­ni­ca­tor with any­one.

I have been friends with a group of women since our high-school days. Since then, some of us have moved out of town, but once a year, we all get to­gether. My prob­lem is that my friends are all heavy drinkers. Be­cause I am the only one who doesn’t en­joy drink­ing, I have al­ways been the des­ig­nated driver. I didn’t like that role in my teens and 20s, but I re­ally re­sent it now that we’re in our 60s.

Af­ter din­ner, my friends insist on go­ing to pubs to con­tinue their “par­ty­ing” un­til the wee hours. As the al­co­hol flows, my friends be­come drunk and repet­i­tive and are, frankly, ter­ri­ble com­pany. This year, I would like to break with tra­di­tion and head home af­ter din­ner, but I don’t know how to do it with­out their be­ing fu­ri­ous with me. If I were to leave them af­ter din­ner and they were to stay out drink­ing, they would be an­gry at hav­ing to take costly taxis they can’t af­ford. On the other hand, if they were to leave with me af­ter din­ner, they would be livid at my cut­ting their evening short and be­ing “the party pooper.”

Be­cause of their peer pres­sure, I now dread our an­nual get-to­geth­ers. Any ad­vice? — Des­ig­nated

If these women grow fu­ri­ous with you for want­ing to go home af­ter din­ner, they’re not friends; they’re bul­lies. It sounds as if you’re an oblig­ing, sweet per­son, and this sweet­ness has spoiled these women over the years, to the point that they feel en­ti­tled to your char­ity. You shouldn’t be pun­ished for not be­ing a lush. And if they can’t af­ford to take taxis, then they shouldn’t be spend­ing money on drinks in the first place.

In ad­vance of your next get-to­gether, let them know you won’t be the des­ig­nated driver this year, that you plan on call­ing it an early night and they should ar­range for a cab or use another ride-hail­ing ser­vice. Let them throw their hissy fits; they’ll get over it. If they want to keep you as a friend, then they should treat you less like a chauf­feur.

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